I’ll finish the sentence to make it true.
“Girls like bad boys, because they won’t get judged for being bad themselves.”
She walks a tightrope daily.
She wants to grab my attention, turn me on, and feel desired.
She is horny, with a quick covert glance, she sizes men up as they walk past.
But She must hide her desire.
Her Sexuality is “bad.” When she acts on it, she is “naughty” at best, a “slut” or “whore” at worst.
Some progressive women have taken ownership of slut, to make it something positive. I like this idea, but there’s a long way to go.
If She has slept with too many guys, she is “used goods, dirty, trashy”…not “girlfriend material.”
Men want women to “give it up,” but then they devalue Her after she does.
She has gone through this many times, starting in high school, often earlier:
1. The romantic lovey-dovey act
2. The pressure, making “moves” to get in her pants
3. The guilt trip “If you loved me you’d show me by having sex.”
4. The unsatisfying, cold humping
5. The disappearing act (he got what he wanted, and never liked her as a person in the first place)
6. The rumors spread, her reputation is tarnished.
For what? She liked a guy and wanted to make him happy, to bring him closer.
I have taught myself to accept and celebrate Her sexuality, her dynamic emotions, the ways she is different, the ways She is stronger than me.
We are both dorks, perverts, afraid, courageous. This is our common ground. She can’t show me at first, and I understand why. I will always protect Her Safety, her sovereignty, her vulnerability, her humanity.
When She feels safe, She is free to be bad, dirty, naughty…the Wild, Natural, SEXUAL Woman comes out.
I know her secret: She’s a Man Eater.
It’s Our Secret, Our World.