Dating Coach For Men

Author Archives: Brian

Introverted? Do subtraction to add more women to your life!

The misconception about self-improvement is that it’s about acquiring skills and new ideas. That’s task improvement, or skill improvement. If you want to learn how to fix cars, sure, you need to learn new things. “With women, my direction has been to become unhidden, to reduce the layers of my personality intended to hide my mind, heart, and cock from women.” But there is no “improving” on your SELF. It’s simply a canvas or context for new experience. The meaning you give experiences can take on a life of it’s own, an identity of it’s own which distracts you, so that you forget your SELF. What’s needed to be happy, effective with other people (other SELVES), is to reduce the extras…the layers of identity you’ve acquired through assigning meaning to things you’ve done and gone through. Improving your graphic design skills, or your soccer skills is additive, and then reductive. You add, chunk down, and discard. The additive steps are actually gaining new insights into what you can eliminate. Chances are, you already know enough at this point. For example: you know that you should stop thinking about what others think about you, in other words, to be happier and more focused, you should reduce your concerns about approval. This is hard to do, because you’ve been conditioned to value approval from others. You have assigned meaning to something that happens, a phenomenon. So maybe you read some books and highlight some quotes which you print out and tape to your wall. Maybe you buy a journal to keep track of self-defeating phrases you use when talking to yourself. The books, the printouts, the journal are all additions, but their purpose is to chunk down, and eliminate, or REDUCE what you pay attention to. With women, my direction has been to become unhidden, to reduce the layers of my personality intended to hide my mind, heart, and cock from women. To ground all this to the subject of meeting and connecting with women, here’s a breakdown of how I operate when I go out… Keep in mind, although I enjoy going to a bar to watch the game, have some beers, and joke with my boys, I don’t consider a big room full of loud drunk people to be a good time. I’d rather sit at home and read. So if I go out at night, it’s because I want to make a new lady-friend (or three). I’m quiet, relaxed, and don’t talk to many people. I’ll usually joke around with random strangers, and on rare occasion I make new guy-friends. I usually approach one or two women a night. When I see a woman I like, there’s no warm up. I shift my attention to the 5 Focalities (I:PA*CE). I turn my focus from internal to external, channeling it in a way that elicits her and rewards her. This is what escalates intimacy. This requires my inner dialogue to be good. I joke with myself, encourage myself, intrigue myself, and…

millionaire matchmaker hurts men

A lot of rich guys suck with women. Just watch millionaire matchmaker – those guys are a mess socially. Unfortunately, she doesn’t give them tools – teach a man to fish, so they can get women on their own. They hire a matchmaker thinking they don’t have time to meet women, but all it takes is 5 minutes while you’re out shopping for groceries. She gives them fish, in the form of gold diggers who know exactly why they are there. I teach men to fish. GBD is all about making women and dating simple easy and fun, using a breakthrough system that keeps you in the moment, while staying on track moving forward with any woman you choose. – lighting your load so you can go beyond. See, the hottest women don’t go for guys who cahse women and are caught up in the dating game. They go for guys who are beyond all that, and are on their path. However, if you dont have the social skills and foundations of an elite guy, you’ll miss out.

Lead7 recap with Ian

How To Turn A Girl On – Go Beyond Dating

If you know how to turn a girl on, you can sleep with her, no matter how beautiful she is. If you don’t know how to turn a girl on, nothing you have or do will make a difference. She won’t sleep with you. Mistakes Women know how to turn men on, but men don’t know to turn women on. Most common MO is to emulate what women do by being pretty, try to be alpha, be funny, sound smart, brag, be really sweet and complimentary Basically impressing/courting, hoping she’ll give him the green light Alcohol Plus men don’t know how women think about sex – what a woman’s experience is most men, except for 1%, are actually telling women NOT to be sexual (otherwise get punished) by courting, through seduction or chivalry By trying to get sex from her, by undermining her innate sexuality, and instead using game you are telling her that you are in the frame of women=possessions, and thus her value diminishes if she fucks you Realization of my problem It took me several months to have sex with my first girlfriend, and after she dumped me, I went a long dry spell. I went on dates, spent money, tried my best to impress the woman, but it never went anywhere. Several friends of mine – not good looking guys, but reasonably cool and fun guys, had the oppositi results They would fuck women they just met without dates or spending money, or trying very hard. Struggle  I decided to fix my problem and tried a lot of things. I tried to escalate using seduction techniques, And i met a lot of women, trying tons of things. On dates, I tried to spend litle money, as I was broke, and didn’t actually want to date, I wanted sex. I managed to get a fuckbuddy that helped me increase my sexual confidence, And i started noticing that my escalation was happening faster, so it was possible to learn this I started reading a lot of books on female psychology, and started realizing that women like sex too I noticed that the more money I spent, the less likely a woman was to sleep with me the faster I got a woman to my place, the faster we’d have sex, even if she said she was “being good” – I would just keep talking and doing kino and then going in for the kiss, then not stopping Revelation I found that it wasn’t women who were afraid of sex, it was me. Often I would realize after the fact that I could have made a move, that she was open, probably horny, and it was my fear of doing the wrong thing or coming off creepy that was holding me back, on top of my lack of sexual confdidence from real experience, which was changing with the couple FBs i had I also realized that it was being sweet, chivarlous – paying for shit basically, being a gentleman and…

San Diego Dating Coach For Men


For almost 8 years, I’ve been giving men the skills to get the women they really want, simply, easily, quickly. I cut my teeth in harsh cities like Chicago and New York City for years…and have recently moved to the beautiful city of San Diego. The weather, outdoor activities, chill vibe, culture, and great food were big attractors for me. But what really convinced me was all the beautiful women in San Diego. Once I visited, I knew I had to come here. Since I’ve come here, I’ve some truly amazing, sexy women. I’m having a blast…but hey, I’m a professional dating coach for men. So for me, San Diego is like a big playground. But what about you? Are you enjoying the women San Diego has to offer? Are you watching bouncy blondes, tanned brunettes, curvy latinas, and petite asians pass you by? What if you’re perfect 10 walked past you on the street? Would you know what to say? Would you know how to connect with her fast, and make HER want to sleep with YOU? How many times have you gone out to a bar with your buddies, only to spend the night getting drunk, joking around, and staring at the hot girls but not talking to them? If this sounds like you, you’re in luck. I’m here. My job is to change all that. I want YOU to live our ideal sex life. I want YOU to get the women you REALLY want, and I DON’T want it to feel like work. I want you to have FUN meeting new women. I want you to have the skills to approach women in any situation, connect fast with fun, flirting conversation, and actually get women to go out with you, because they CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. If you’d like to learn more, and decide if getting a dating coach is right for you, shoot me your info here. What drives me is knowing that I’m making men better. My students become leaders, not just of women, but of other men, using elite social skills that I teach. But most importantly, I want you to be the leader of your life. No more settling, no more faking, lines, trying to run game, or relying on alcohol to get laid. I want you to be the man you want to be, and show that man to women. I can teach you to be the man women are naturally drawn to, the man that makes women wet just by talking to them, the man that fucks hot women whenever he wants. As a professional dating coach for men in San Diego, I want to help YOU achieve dating success, whether you want to play the field and sleep with lots of women, or find that one special girl to possibly settle down with. I’ve done both and personally coached almost 300 men to do the same…not to mention thousands of men I’ve helped through home study courses, books,…

One More Thing

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How To Turn a Girl On Fast

how to turn girls on fast

Women love sex, and most share the view that it’s healthy, fun, and connective. Not only do women love sex, but I’d say they are actually more adventurous and kinky than men. If you’ve ever read Nancy Friday’s book, My Secret Garden, you know what I’m talking about. After you read it, you’ll see it is quite easy for a girl to get turned on Compared to men, women have much more creative and extreme fantasies. This isn’t to say women always want to carry out their fantasies. Quite the opposite, which is what makes fantasy so exciting. In real life, she may not want to actually be bent over by a faceless man in a crowded stadium, or kneel under a podium and give a blowjob to a powerful man giving a speech to a full auditorium (these are both common fantasies I’ve heard women describe). But in her mind, a woman is safe to explore these crazy ideas, and it’s this safety, this privacy that allows her to indulge in her fantasies and get really turned on. When you understand HOW she thinks, you will know how to turn a girl on. This article is not about women’s sexual fantasies. I only bring up fantasy to illustrate how incredibly sexual women are. The secret world inside a woman’s mind is a sexual playground. But on the outside, she must hide this, even to her friends. A woman’s sexuality is something wonderful, but also vulnerable – something sacred she must guard, to some degree, at all times. It truly is a secret garden, and she can’t let anyone come in and carelessly trample all over the flowers. The garden must be protected for many reasons and that’s my goal for this article – to help male readers understand the dynamics of female sexuality on a deeper level, and in a more holistic way. As a man, it took me a long time to understand how to turn a girl on. It was really a process of unlearning my cultural conditioning, so I could see the obvious. If I have unprotected sex, I risk contracting an STD, but even then, a woman has a much higher chance of contraction, because of the physical nature of intercourse – she is being penetrated and ejaculated into. I’m sure you know how sex works, but have you ever thought about how the physical dynamics of intercourse affect how a woman thinks about sex? Evolutionarily, sex is a risk for a woman. Here is a list of the risks a woman takes sexually. (It’s important to understand that although some of these risks are not as much of an issue today, we are still wired as we were 80-50,00 BC. Our brains have not had time to change to the degree society has. Culture changes fast, but biology evolves slowly. Very slowly. 10,000 years of civilization is a blink compared to millions of years of physical evolution). Risks associated with sex, for women: *…

pickup artist tips

pick her up

As a professional dating coach for men, I’m sometimes referred to as a pick up artist. I thought of myself this way for a long time when I got started learning how to be good with women. I don’t think this accurately depicts who I am or what I do now. In my personal life, I’m simply a man who loves women, and understands them much better than the typical guy. Professionally, I’m a dating coach for men. I teach men how to be successful meeting women and living the kind of lifestyle they want. I also teach guys how to be good in bed, how to have great dates, and how to connect with women on a very deep level. But a lot of guys who are just learning how to be good with women are starting like I started – as pick up artists. So I thought I’d write up a little article of some of my favorite pickup artist tips. These are tips to get you started – techniques you can use to get success right away and start yourself on a positive feedback loop of success. Tips to pick up women 1. One of the hardest things for guys to do is approach women. Even the toughest guy gets scared when he wants to talk to attractive women. The problem is that he is worried about how to impress women, instead of how to help them impress him! This is a powerful shift in thinking. So when you approach women, you should not be thinking about what to say to make her laugh or make her like you. Instead, tell her something YOU like about HER. And make it specific. Don’t just say, “You’re hot.” Say, “I like your hair! It’s different, but looks great on you.” Or, “I love how you move when you dance. I can’t stop looking at you.” Giving a woman a specific compliment on her beauty is my favorite way to start a conversation, and it’s very effective if done with a warm energy and focused eye contact. 2. Once a guy is past the approach, the next step is conversation. As the man, you will have to carry the conversation at first, because women don’t usually know what to say or do when they are approached. They just become passive and try to keep up if they like you. You’re goal is to change this by giving her the confidence to express herself freely. This is another shift in thinking because conventional wisdom says that as the man it’s your job to be confident. Think about it – what do confident people do? They try to build up those around them. This is your focus when talking to a woman. Instead of bragging, be self-deprecating. Instead of trying to be funny, poke fun at her for her cute quirks. Instead of thinking about how to get sexual, focus on making her feel comfortable with you. This will allow her natural…

Flirting Body Language


We are always communicating to each other with our bodies. Our thoughts and feelings are telegraphed through facial expression, posture, movement, and many other aspects of body language. To be good with women is to be good at flirting. Because so much of our communication is outside of words – what we say with our bodies – flirting is as much about what you say with your body as with your words, if not more. In this article, I’m going to break down body language, and more specifically flirting body language. Flirting body language By Brian Burke   The best flirts are men and women who understand that much of what is communicated happens physically. Let me point out some areas of body language so that you may become more aware of your own body language. This is important because when you are aware of your body, you can then use it consciously to send the messages you want to send to others. This awareness is crucial for effective flirting body language. Facial expressions Imagine saying something neutral to another person, for example, “I ate a sandwich today.” If you say this with a smile, the person gets the message that the sandwich was good, even though you have not said that verbally yet. Alternatively, you could say it with a frown, and the person infers that the sandwich was bad Facial expression adds context to your words. Taking this idea a step further, imagine giving someone a compliment, with a smile. They will be pleased. But say it with a frown, and you send the message that you don’t mean the compliment – maybe you are being sarcastic, and actually criticizing the person. They will respond much differently. There is a wide range of possible expressions between a smile and a frown. We are capable of literally thousands of subtly different facial expressions, and we are also WIRED to perceive these subtle differences. Could you be sending the wrong message when you talk to girls? Remember, flirting body language starts with the look on your face. Movement – pace, and space You probably now realize that body language is a subtle business. Moreso with body movement. For example, if you are moving fast, it could convey that you are nervous, or simply energized and excited. If you move slow, it could mean you are depressed. It could also mean that you are feeling confident and relaxed. What’s the difference? Your facial expression. Another part of movement is how much space you occupy. If you sit with your arms and legs spread, as if you own the place, you look confident. But fidgety (fast) hand movements, and a subtley nervous facial expression will give you away as trying to assert confidence to cover up insecurity. Are you seeing how subtle and complex all this is? Don’t worry, I’ll make it simple later, because you do NOT want to be thinking about all these things when you talk to women. In…

Dating Models

Dating Models

Most guys put models and actresses on a pedestal, as the pinnacle of achievement when it comes to dating. I have dated enough of these types of women to know that I’d actually prefer to meet normal women – teachers, nurses, etc. But if you are looking for the picturesque type of woman, straight off the cover of Cosmo, then you’ll need to know a couple things. #1 Go where they areIn New York, models and actresses tend to hang out in certain areas, and at certain clubs. Find out what clubs and bars are near talent agencies in your town, and start to frequent those places. In NYC, Chelsea is where most of the modeling agencies are. Every time I go to that part of town, I see some really amazing women. Again, my taste is more for the “around the way girl,” but if I were looking for a skinny, 6-foot-tall European looking model chick, I’d go to Chelsea. #2 Don’t be impressed – relateThe odds are actually more in your favor, the hotter a girl is. Especially with models and actresses, because of how other men treat them. They are used to men worshipping and fawning all over them, or staring creepily but not saying anything, or being really obnoxious and aggressive. If you can just treat her like a normal person, without the game or bullshit, you will seem really different. So how do you act normal? Don’t be impressed with her. Be curious about her, and as she talks about herself, relate to her experience. If she talks about the stress of acting, because she has to perform for others, talk about how working in IT can be stressful because everyone expects you to know it all, and as soon as the system has trouble, everyone blames you. (Yes, you can work in IT and date models. I’ve had tons of clients make this their reality.) #3 Focus on her personality and convey standardsI recall meeting a famous model at the airport. I told a couple of my friends, and they got really excited, telling me that I “had to sleep with her.” For them it was a trophy. But the more I talked to her, the less I liked her. Soon I decided I didn’t want to spend anymore time with her than I already had. It’s important not to compromise yourself just to sleep with a hot woman. If you have standards, and integrity (you stick to your standards), she will feel it. A lot of times, models are used to men sucking up them and letting them get away with crappy behavior. Not you. If she makes a bad joke, or acts stuck up, make fun of her, subtly challenging her to step up. I call this “appreciation-potential.” You are conveying that you could like her, if she can stop being fake and be real with you. This is POWERFUL, because no man does this with her. #4 Give experiences, not moneyDo…