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Social Success for Introverts: Think SUBTRACTION

The misconception about self-improvement is that it’s about acquiring skills and new ideas. That’s task improvement, or skill improvement. If you want to learn how to fix cars, sure, you need to learn new things.

“With women, my direction has been to become unhidden, to reduce the layers of my personality intended to hide my mind, heart, and cock from women.”

But there is no “improving” on your SELF. It’s simply a canvas or context for new experience. The meaning you give experiences can take on a life of it’s own, an identity of it’s own which distracts you, so that you forget your SELF. What’s needed to be happy, effective with other people (other SELVES), is to reduce the extras…the layers of identity you’ve acquired through assigning meaning to things you’ve done and gone through. Improving your graphic design skills, or your soccer skills is additive, and then reductive.

You add, chunk down, and discard.

The additive steps are actually gaining new insights into what you can eliminate. Chances are, you already know enough at this point. For example: you know that you should stop thinking about what others think about you, in other words, to be happier and more focused, you should reduce your concerns about approval. This is hard to do, because you’ve been conditioned to value approval from others. You have assigned meaning to something that happens, a phenomenon. So maybe you read some books and highlight some quotes which you print out and tape to your wall. Maybe you buy a journal to keep track of self-defeating phrases you use when talking to yourself. The books, the printouts, the journal are all additions, but their purpose is to chunk down, and eliminate, or REDUCE what you pay attention to.

With women, my direction has been to become unhidden, to reduce the layers of my personality intended to hide my mind, heart, and cock from women.

To ground all this to the subject of meeting and connecting with women, here’s a breakdown of how I operate when I go out… Keep in mind, although I enjoy going to a bar to watch the game, have some beers, and joke with my boys, I don’t consider a big room full of loud drunk people to be a good time. I’d rather sit at home and read.

So if I go out at night, it’s because I want to make a new lady-friend (or three). I’m quiet, relaxed, and don’t talk to many people.

I’ll usually joke around with random strangers, and on rare occasion I make new guy-friends. I usually approach one or two women a night.

When I see a woman I like, there’s no warm up. I shift my attention to the 5 Focalities (I:PA*CE).

I turn my focus from internal to external, channeling it in a way that elicits her and rewards her. This is what escalates intimacy. This requires my inner dialogue to be good. I joke with myself, encourage myself, intrigue myself, and I’m ruthlessly honest with myself. I’m already I:PA*CE-ing myself!

I walk up totally exposed, and try to find out who she is. My intent is strong, because it’s strong internally too. I’m always checking in with myself, “What am I up to?” This keeps me on-point.

Attraction and sexual-tension are like afterthoughts I don’t TRY to be attractive. I am what I am.

That’s what makes me attractive. I desire her. She desires to be desired.

I approach her. She wants a proactive man. So what I’m doing and how I’m feeling is my attractiveness.

That’s why you shouldn’t focus on ‘attraction.’ It’s the NOT focusing on attraction that turns women on. I give no mind to standing out from other guys. I am extremely different already. I give no thought to being sexual. I am sexual and if she turns me on I don’t hide this.

I don’t try to “MAKE” her want sex. If she’s human, she’s sexual. i don’t think about putting her in flux or screening. I already screen because I have abundance and I like myself more anyone else.

There is zero thought of hiding with defense or offense, in other words, there is no game. I don’t care if she likes me or not. My intention is not to get her approval. The idea is absurd. She’s a woman. She has no experience as a man, so she has no authority on how I should “be.”

Wanting women to like you means you are implicitly trying to get guidance from them on how you should act.

That’s like asking Mike Tyson about nuclear physics. My intention is to enjoy her – by making her squirm and squeal and moan and sigh and laugh, and even get frustrated and angry sometimes.

I enjoy affecting women. I’m showing off. I show off my mind, my heart, and especially my cock. That’s how I make love to a woman.

The words I say show off my mind. The way I move and hold her shows off my heart. The way I Thrust and throb shows off my cock.

I show off so she can be filled, overdosed, with the Brian Experience.

That’s how I fuck, and I’m always fucking, whether there’s a woman in front of me or not. As simple as all this sounds, it’s founded on a highly developed intuition.

I wasn’t born with social savvy. I suffered from extreme social anxiety well into my 20’s. But now my intuition about women and social situations is unmatched, because I’ve built a foundation of Awareness, Control, and Thrust (ACT).

I use the I:PA*CE Focality system to build ACT within you, my student. Instead of time, trial and error, frustration, etc, I give you an elegant and coherent system. The value of this system lies in it’s “neatness,” because that’s how you save time.

I:PA*CE guides your operation, and ACT organizes your experience. That’s how my students get really good, really fast.

I just finished a couple new videos to help you learn more about live coaching.

The first is more of a “promo” but offers a lot of insight (and cool music in the background).

Underneath is a link for the  video, which is over an hour of Ian and I discussing the live coaching program and offering a ton of tips and insights you can use right away.

You can find them on the new coaching page, here: To Your Success, Brian PS. If you’d like to talk to me directly about coaching, fill out the Contact Form at the bottom of the coaching page, with your specific questions, and I’ll get back to you in a timely fashion.