Imagine a woman surrendering to you so completely that in your arms, her whole body trembles in ecstasy before melting into tranquility beneath you…
Inspiring this kind of surrender is more satisfying and badass than any cheap thrill. Every man intuitively knows this.
To lead a woman so well that she is a puddle of naked euphoria in your arms, whether you met her months or only hours ago, is being a benevolent badass.
This is because every woman longs for surrender. Surrender can’t be faked. Well, it can – but it’s not as much fun for either party, and both feel cheated.
True surrender can only occur when on a deep intuitive level, a woman feels safe. Safety has to be there before she can relax with you, much less surrender.
This is not a “thinking” safe – it’s not any kind of reasoning or any kind of analysis she’s going to calculate. This is a pure, palpable, intuitive sense she gets from you that, “Wow, with this man – I am safe.”
Oh, for you to be that man! It’s vital because you can pretty much figure that if you are being jumpy and weird, she’ll never be able to relax. And neither will you for that matter, which doesn’t feel sexy to anybody.
The secret to her feeling safe is you SLOWING the f*** doooowwwwnnnn…..
The easiest way to do this is to move your body as if through water when you are with her: slowly and intentionally. When I heard a colleague say this once, it was like a lightbulb for me.
It may seem nebulous to you at first, but if you want a woman’s full surrender, you have to meet her in the intuitive place she lives. I’ve found this is one of the easiest entry points for the men I coach. Let’s look at it more closely:
You know how water has a way of slowing you down when you are in it? When you are in a pool and looking through the water, everything is soft and hazy and beautiful. It takes longer to move because there is continual resistance. You are effortlessly slower.
The water smoothes out starkness and muffles intensities. It kind of envelops you in this still, slow world where you’re held by the fullness of water in a way you’re never held by thin air.
Here is the exercise for you to practice again and again:
When you hold a woman, imagine holding her this way. Imagine that you are both in water. Or imagine that you are the water holding her, enveloping her, slowing her world doooowwwwnnnn…..
This will feel odd at first, just like anything feels odd when you do it for the first time. To keep yourself on track and practicing as often as possible, remember that doing this helps you for two reasons:
(1) It makes you look and feel powerful, enabling her to trust you and feel safe in your presence. This is because powerful beings have no need to rush, to twitch, to be jerky.
Think of a leopard or a lion. Smooth, easy, still, confident. You’re communicating power via your stillness. This calms her nerves and magnetizes her to you as a center of stillness.
It’s important to note that true stillness can only come from integrity and being a “benevolent badass”. If you’re not benevolent – TRULY benevolent – if you are not a truly good man, nothing I am writing here can help you. This advice only works for men who have strong and true hearts, who are honest and good.
When you’re good-hearted and you master the art of being calm and still, she feels you as powerful and trustworthy, and her nerves smooth out and become quiet. She is freed up to surrender to you.
(2) When you can be still, it makes it SO much easier for you to see her on a deep level and become open and intuitive to her and her desires.
This is because you are quiet enough in your head to actually perceive what is going on with her and what she wants.
When you are truly still and steady, you can start to notice these things, all of which help her feel seen and safe as you adjust your lead accordingly…
What is she feeling?
What does she want more of?
What is her BODY responding to…
Where is she melting or tensing?
Most tensing can be calmed by you being more solid and SLOWING the f*** doooowwwwnnnn…..
That slowness helps on so many levels, all leading to her fully trusting your lead. If you want to think of it linearly, it’s like this:
Your Slowness Engenders Trust → She Feels Safe → She Can Relax → She Can Surrender
Remember your new practice of moving as if through water. This is just like building any muscle, which gets stronger as you train it. The more you slow down, the more she can relax and surrender to you.
Sarah Jones is the Love Life Engineer for smart, introverted men, helping them attract and connect with women naturally. For more – and to download her 61-page ebook on attracting women naturally – visit her at Introverted Alpha (IntrovertedAlpha.com) and Facebook.