Messaging
Women communicate in messages.
They communicate nonverbally much more than men dol. So, when you say something to a woman, she is listening to what you’re saying but she’s really paying attention to why you’re saying what you’re saying.
The why is the message.
This is really easy to understand if you go to a department store where there are salespeople working for commissions.
An amateur salesman is going to say something along the lines of, “Yeah man, you should really buy this TV. It’s great. I mean look at all these features and I mean you can go somewhere else but this is the best deal going.”
He’s talking a mile a minute and trying really hard to convince you how good the TV is.
Put yourself in the shoes of the customer dealing with this salesman and ask: why is he communicating like this? Why is he speaking so fast? Why is he trying to think of so many reasons for me to buy this TV? Why is he even talking about other department stores and what deals they might have?
The answer to all these questions is the same. This guy doesn’t really believe in what he’s selling and he’s trying to get your money.
So the message he’s sending you is: This is a shitty TV, I want your money and I’d say anything to get it.
It’s hard to sell a product that sucks, but let’s take a halfway good salesman who believes in the product. He has a TV in mind that he really likes, that he believes is a good TV. You talk to him and he’s saying, “Yeah, for you needs, I would go between either this TV or this TV. They’re both good, but this TV is a little better because the resolution is higher. I’ll give you some time to think about it. Let me know what you decide.”
Now this salesman is actually sending a message that he believes in his product. His attitude says if you decide not to buy this TV it’s your loss because this is a product that you need and he’s not going to pressure you because the product sells itself. It’s inherently valuable.
So the message he’s sending you is you should get this TV because it’s a good TV.
Simple.
Now I want you to think about that in terms of a romantic situation. Maybe, sexually, what message are you sending?
If you approach a woman and you’re trying really hard to impress her, this sends a message that you are shitty in bed, you’re lifestyle sucks, you’re not successful, you’re not accustomed to people liking you, and she will not benefit from getting to know you.
That is the Message you’re sending when you put her on the pedestal and your behavior stems from that pedestal mentality.
Now, let’s talk about the right message. It’s based on her innate sense of survival that has evolved to be this way over thousands of millennia.
She is smaller and physically weaker and she is the one who gets pregnant, which makes her even more vulnerable if she’s pregnant. She’s also prone to health risks because of the nature of her sexual biology. If a man gets violated like in prison or something crazy like that he’s not going to have a baby. A woman has a good chance of having a baby inside of her.
Because of this, she needs to feel safe. She needs to be physically and emotionally safe. She needs social alliances and status. She needs to be able to form new friendships, new bonds with relatively powerful people. She also needs resources. She is not going to be as good of a hunter.
She needs access to brute strength that will manipulate the environment to keep her safe, to keep her and her baby fed and nourished. These are deep drives that aren’t necessarily consciously thought of every day, but they are indeed felt and acted upon every waking moment.
She wants sexual pleasure. Humans are one of only a few animals that engage in recreational sex.
Because these are her needs and not just mere wants, she can satisfy all of them by being with a man who is dominant, a man who cares about her and will bond with her for the long term. A man who can give her sexual pleasure, a man who can keep her safe, a man who is successful and will help her be successful.
Because these are her needs, she has been hard-wired to contribute.
