Actively listening makes you so attractive to a women. As she talks, she invests in you. You become bigger in her mind. More trustworthy.
She has to justify all this effort she’s making by telling herself this guy is great. This is a cool guy. He is confident, and he is interested in me. All these things that she wants to believe about you, she will convince herself are true.
From start to finish, you want your whole conversational structure based not on what you’re saying, but based on getting her to say things. This is my whole perception of conversations when I deal with women; this is my whole game right here. Getting them to express themselves, and then I reward her with me.
You can reward with some kind of touch, or just more of your attention. Or by letting her know that you think she’s cool and you’d like to see her again by asking for her number.
Use your three tools:
It’s an all-pervasive attitude of drawing her out. Focus on getting to know her.
That focus manifests in many ways. It could manifest with getting her to buy you a drink, her taking your number and calling you versus the other way around, her driving out of her way to come see you, buying you things, or her cooking you dinner. All these things are just examples of a myriad of ways that this drawing-out focus manifests itself.
Whether it’s her sense of humor or her intelligence or her nurturing, caring side, whatever kind of person she is, you want to get her expressing it to you as much as possible.
This is your all-pervasive attitude with a woman. If you’re the prize, if you’re the man, If you’re the trophy, the one of value in a relationship, then your focus should be on getting her contribution, getting her to earn you, to work for you.
A great way this can be achieved is through comfortable silences.
There are two main modes in conversation; asking questions, and making statements.
Then there are Comfortable Silences. Journalists will do this when they are interviewing someone. If they ask a question and the answer they get isn’t sufficient, they will just let it hang there. People want to fill that silence.
A lot of times it can be good, if you can’t think of anything to say to just not try to think of anything to say. You’re not trying to work for her, let her fill the silence.
Just lean back, relax, and don’t say anything. You’re comfortable with the silence. She will feel the social tension and she will fill it in.
By allowing silences, you create a scenario where she will fill in that silence, therefore becoming more invested in your interaction.
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