I think of growth in terms of subtraction. Getting rid of layers. Getting rid of extra thoughts and extra stuff in your life. So growth kind of gives you the idea that you’re moving up and out and forward. But at the same time, you also want to think about subtracting stuff that doesn’t need to be there.
Subtracting stuff that’s really not you. Bullshit thoughts that you’ve internalized over time. Stuff you’re doing that isn’t necessary. There’s a lot of things, especially with women. Women are a great analogy for so many things in our lives because as a masculine life form, the universe is feminine in relation to you.
So everything in your life is, in a way, like a woman – and vice versa. I think a lot of guys do stuff that’s unnecessary. Not that it wouldn’t help, just that it’s unnecessary. For example, wearing cool clothes. That wouldn’t help. It’ll get you noticed but you gotta look at the cost-benefit.
How much of a payoff are these clothes getting you, really? Could you do the same thing in jeans and a t-shirt?
I want you to write a list of things that you think you need to do to get the woman you really want. Force yourself to write a lot on the list because all that stuff is real. All that stuff is in there. All that stuff is thoughts that you’re actually having.
Go and do it now, before you continue reading!
Okay, now pick the top 2 or 3 things that are really gonna make the biggest difference for now. Really deeply analyze these grievances, and ask why? Why do you think you need these things? Write those answers down too. If they are sufficient, then that’s good, but chances are at least some of them are silly things to be worrying about.
Once you’ve identified the ones that are of actual importance, decide in your mind that you’re going to address these concerns of yours and do something positive to move towards these goals. Whether that’s adding or subtracting something, it doesn’t matter.
Over time, you can tweak the other stuff. That’s what I do now. I think a lot about physical fitness and my clothes because everything else is sorted out. I was able to get girls without having money. Without really having that great of a physique.
Now that I’ve been able to become really good with women without the extras, I can consider them more.
Once you put it on paper or become aware of it, you can start to notice those thoughts and just dismiss them. And gradually over time you will shed their negative impact from your life.
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