Pressure and Regret
Getting really down on yourself about every women that you didn’t approach will only hinder you. I’ve experienced this personally. I’ve always had a problem with regret thoughts.
It makes you feel like you have negative momentum and it makes you think Oh, I didn’t approach that girl so the whole day’s fucked.
Instead of Oh, I just didn’t feel like it.
I noticed I started doing this to myself. Even when I was coaching guys and they were expecting me to demonstrate. There would be a girl that they would see that I was looking at and they’d be like “Go for it!”
They’d be excited like “Oh, we’re gonna see the master demonstrate” and I would feel pressure. Now on that day for some reason, she was nice to look at, but I just didn’t feel like doing it at that moment. I wasn’t that excited about it.
So I started owning it. “Nah, I don’t feel like talking to her right now.”
A couple times, guys would be like “Well, I thought you wouldn’t get nervous?”
I would reply, “I’m not nervous, I just don’t really feel like approaching a woman right now. I will, you guys will see it.”
It was a big breakthrough for me and that actually made me better when approaching the woman that I was excited about.
It’s about pressure. It’s about emotional sustainability. When meeting women is emotionally sustainable for you, you’ll get a lot of practice, you’ll be able to approach a lot of them. When approaching women is a big deal, you won’t be able to get that practice, you won’t be able to get those reps in.
You’ll be nervous and so you won’t get that positive feedback from women that helps you build those beliefs that make you think Oh, this is fun and easy. I can do this.
You won’t be able to get those numbers that help your learning but also help you have a large pool to draw from so you can make a good decision about who you spend your time with.
