How To Be More Dominant
We all learn about status and dominance by dealing with other kids in school. For girls, it’s passive-aggressive terrorism. For boys, it’s head-on bullying.
In grade school, physical genetics win. Who gets picked for teams at recess determines who is “liked” and respected in class, and after school.
But after grade school, things change.
A new dynamic applies. Being ambitious, and social takes precedence over physique.
Women are drawn to the man in charge. But if you focus on being that guy, you won’t be. It sounds confusing at first, but makes perfect sense.
Let’s start by substituting substitute “dominance” with the word “leadership,” Focusing on leadership will accelerate your learning process and that’s the whole point of LEAD7 – to speed things up and save your time.
Inner experience
From the inside looking out, a leader is focused on resolving conflict, first within himself. But that’s the longest, hardest struggle – to change yourself from within.
The FASTEST way to solve conflict is by getting help from others. Nothing is accomplished alone, and leaders know this.
The way to get help is to first give help. Instead of trying to fix yourself from the inside, look where you can help others, and then take action.
Sitting at home reading books only fuels the idea that you have a problem, thus fueling the problem itself.
All problems exist only in the mind. It is mind’s, perceiving illusory separation, thus conflict, that start war, perpetuate poverty, fuel hatred, racism, oppression, violence. Inner conflict creates depression, insecurity, fear, and anger.
When you ACT (ACT Leadership is the foundation of what I teach), you are DOING love. By doing courage, you inspired others, and bring bring us all closer to freedom.
Helping vs. Competing
The best way to achieve your vision is to attract help by first offering help.
That’s what dominance really means, and why I don’t ever say “dominance.” If you are the guy worrying about who’s the “alpha male” or who is more dominant, you are NOT either. You are just another beta monkey fighting other beta monkeys.
Focus on leading others, by helping them see themselves as the Ones they want to be. This means you need vision, like a psychological x-ray vision…we are born with it, then we lose it…gain it back.
Vision
Connecting with women means leading women into intimacy. It might mean leading women into an open, polygamous sexual relationships.
Or it might mean finding that special woman and connecting to her deepest dreams and desires, so she will never let you go.
If you want to master this process, I explain everything, from top to bottom, in Sexual Supremacy.
External Cues vs. Internal Processes
Smiling can be DOMINANT, or SUBMISSIVE. The difference is the “why” behind the smile.
When you look happy, people see you as in control of your life. When you are depressed, it looks like life is controlling you.
When you laugh at someone’s joke, even though it wasn’t funny, are you worried about their approval, or are you trying to make them feel confident?
Intention
When I tell people I’m a dating coach for men, they always ask me for a piece of advice – what would I tell “guys” or what is it that I teach, in a nutshell. My response is, “don’t try to look confident. Instead, focus on giving confidence to those around you, men and women. Tell women they are beautiful without wanting anything back, without hoping for an outcome.”
This is leadership. You can start tomorrow, simply by focusing on what you like about other people. Some of them may shrug it off, or look at you weird.
If you feel an emotional reaction, that means your intention was impure – you weren’t doing it for the right reason: to give. You were trying to take.
Becoming aware of this process within yourself is the first, but biggest step, in becoming a leader. It starts with you – are you showing the universe who you are – your best self?
or are you hiding and manipulating, to get an outcome you don’t feel you truly deserve?
If you are not sure, take 5 minutes everyday, for a week, to just watch your thoughts, and write down what you mostly think of.
Is it comprised of arguing/fighting fantasies? are you imagining “how to win”? Maybe you regret past failure, or worry about future dilemmas?
A New Paradigm For Connecting With Women
If you are concerned about what a female thinks of you, you are basically asking a person with a vagina what you, a man, should do.
It’s a ridiculous idea if you think about it. Would you ask an auto-mechanic how diversify your portfolio? Would you ask the grocery clerk how to design your website?
Only YOU can decide what is the right action. Substitute “right” with “your.” What is YOUR action?
How will you help others?
How will you ENJOY being YOU?
Once you have a Vision for yourself, and thus a positive motive for meeting others, connecting with women will be as easy as making breakfast, driving yourself to work in the morning, or talking to a friend at the end of the day.
It can be easy, as easy as you can make it.
It’s up to you. Women are out there – a lot of them…a lot of beautiful, caring, passionate, interesting, fun women.
Enjoy them! Meeting women should be fun, not a strategic war to get in her pants.
Forget the silly nice guy vs. jerk debate, and stop worrying about who is “alpha.” Forget the unnecessary pickup artist seduction games.
Connect with women through leadership.
