For a guy, having an orgasm is pretty easy, but most guys don’t know how to make a girl come because they only focus on her body, not her mind.
In this article I’ll explain how to make a girl come by touching her mind and body.
Once you get a girl alone and things start heating up, focus on helping her relax first. Most girls are very nervous at first. They are worried about being pretty enough, whether they are doing it right (kissing, touching, etc).
A girl will also be worried about you thinking less of her if she has sex with you too fast, even though she wants to.
Relaxation is all about feeling safe; when a girl feels safe, she’ll relax. (To understand safety on a deeper level, see my article “Control, part 2: Safety.”). The two parts of safety are physical and emotional.
A girl must feel physically safe with you. This means you can’t rush her or put pressure on her. You can’t touch her in a way that makes her uncomfortable. At first, I focus on touching a woman as a means of guiding and protecting her.
I don’t ever “cop a feel.”
Instead I put my hand on her lower back and guide her to where we are going. I pull her close to help her avoid getting bumped by passersby.
When we are alone, I hold her in a way that conveys I care about her and want her to feel safe. I also ask girls, “Are you OK?” or “Are you comfortable?” or “Do you need anything?”
A girl must also feel emotionally safe. She must feel like you actually like her for who she is as a person, so that she can be herself around you. Think of a time when you felt you had to walk on eggshells around someone. It’s uncomfortable. We feel good when we feel that others like us for who we really are, that we get approval when we show our authentic, flawed personalities. When a girl feels good about herself around you, she can relax. When she relaxes, her natural sexuality emerges.
Feeling confident leads to feeling sexy when you’re with the opposite sex.
When I began learning how to make a girl come consistently, I quickly realized how important relaxation is to the process.
It may seem obvious, but if you want to know how to make a girl come, you need to know how to turn a girl on. I do this the same way I relax a woman – with my body and my words.
Turning a girl on begins with how you look at her. Girls always tell me that I look at them in a way that makes them nervous but turned on at the same time. They say I have a certain way of looking at them that’s different from other guys. What I’m doing is simply looking at them with a warm, sexual appreciation. I look at women with loving sexual desire, they way you’d look at your girlfriend if she dressed in lingerie to surprise you.
The next step is how to talk to a woman. What I say with my mouth is the same as what I say with my eyes and hands. I tell her how sexy I think she is, how much she turns me on, how much I like her for who she is. I’ll tell a girl she is sexy, beautiful, interesting, exciting, etc. I’ll tell a girl that I’m getting turned on, that I’m hard for her, that I can’t keep my eyes off her, and that I want to put my hands all over her. Engaging a woman’s mind and making her feel desired is crucial if you want to know how to make a girl come.
Lastly, I am very sensual. I make a girl horny by touching her. I glide my finger tips up and down her curves. I kiss her jawline, neckline, behind her ears, her clavicle, down the middle of her back. I squeeze her ass and work my way down the back of her legs to her ankles, then work my way back up the inside of her legs and tease her pussy by lingering and moving up to her tummy. I hold, rub, squeeze, caress, lick, nibble, smell and kiss her lips passionately, like I’ll never kiss another girl. I’m showing her how much I desire her. When a girl feels relaxed and desired, there’s simply one more piece missing….
The biggest challenge guys face to knowing how to make a girl come is understanding the concept of control.
It’s commonly called “dominance,” but this can be a confusing term because it implies status, aggression, and brute force.
It’s more practical to focus on control, which is the outcome of dominance. But you don’t need to be a bully or act macho to gain control. Calmly controlling a woman’s body as if it’s totally normal and simply the way you operate is a huge turn on, and avoids the resistance you’d get by using force or acting cocky.
In bed, I will hold a girl in place, lift her and move her, direct her legs, turn her over, pull her towards me, etc. I’m in control of her body. She doesn’t resist because I move slow, and I’m constantly messaging a loving sexual desire. (Learn more about Messaging here.)
When a woman feels out of control, yet relaxed, she is able to come. The way for a woman to orgasm is to relax and surrender. I go in-depth about a woman’s process of surrendering to a man in Sex and Surrender, but suffice to say that a woman’s sexual nature is to surrender to a powerful man. A girl can also experience great pleasure and orgasm by being in control, but that is because it is such a thrill for her to affect a powerful man and be in control of his body. It is the exception that proves the rule.
If you want to know how to make a girl come you must learn how to take control of a her body in a way that relaxes her, arouses her, and lets her surrender to you.
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