As I developed the Pandora’s Box system with Vin Dicarlo, my goal was to answer one question: how do women think about dating and sex?
The idea that women are illogical has never sat well with me. After two years of devouring every source of information I could.
I devoured academic research, piles of books on gender, personality, and female psychology, and I talked to every woman I personally knew. I also picked other that had a “way with women.”
I began synthesizing a personality inventory, based on the ways women navigate the dating (mating) process on a cognitive level. But the key was to focus on the cognitive processes that are different from how men think.
I found there were three considerations women have about dating that men do not:
1. Women have a time window, and must use a strategy to find the best mate in that window.
2. Women are ambivalent about sex, because their desires are coupled with fears that men don’t have.
3. Women want to feel they are contributing to their man’s life in a supportive way. But how they nurture a man varies based on their perception of a woman’s role in a romantic relationship.
Each factor has two polarities, like the DSMMD. A woman’s cognitive dating map develops according to the 8 possible preferences for finding a man. This means that each factor is a line, with a contrasting strategy at each end.
Three lines, or axes, makes a cube…in other words, a box!
I thought about the myth of Pandora’s Box. A woman opens a box that releases all the chaos and evil previously contained and controlled within a mythical box. This is like the Adam and Eve story, where Eve succumbs to temptation and brings evil into the Garden of Eden.
I felt these myths were biased, and unfairly painted women as evil or bad. Women are not, though it may serve the male ego to believe this. I wanted to counter these myths with a modern, compassionate view of women, giving men a healthier way of dealing with the opposite sex.
So Vin Dicarlo and I set out to create a new Pandora’s Box.
As a dating coach for men, my job is to create easily navigable systems. This particular system was based on eight types of women (3 lines, multiplied by 2 possible preferences-polarities, equals eight types).
This was an exciting project. I wrote tons of articles and Advanced Strategy Guides explaining the Pandora’s Box system and how to understand the eight types of women. But more importantly, how to explore each individual woman’s mind using the most accurate system at that time.
I also got to interview some really great women on camera and illustrate to my students how to explore a woman’s mind using the Pandora’s Box system. Some of my favorite interviews were actually off-camera, on the phone. I had to keep these interviews discrete, as they were focused on sex and got pretty candid and explicit.
There was a side-effect to all this research. Me and the rest of the Vin DiCarlo Coaching team all naturally became even better with women, simply because we all understood them on such a deep level. I no longer had to think about what to say or where I stood in a woman’s eyes. We now felt, on an intuitive level, what a woman was probably thinking and feeling.
This allowed me and the rest of the Dicarlo Coaching team to connect with women on a much deeper level, completely effortlessly.
We were no longer pickup artists, consciously running game. We became Naturals, easily and organically connecting with the deepest part of the women we met.
I also developed a deeper love for women, and saw them, not as conquests or opponents to “seduce,” but unique, individual human beings. Once my perception shifted, my results got better, with less effort. In fact, “effort” isn’t the right word. Interactions became fun, easy, and more fulfilling.
Although Vin Dicarlo no longer offers personal coaching, I still do. I’ve been a professional dating coach for men for 8 years, and I am still passionate about helping men achieve dating success with women.
If you want to learn how to apply the Pandora’s Box system with women at a master level as fast as possible, check out my LEAD7 Coaching Program.
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