Don’t Identify, Explore
Women are an opportunity for you to have new experiences and to experience courage. They’re also a way to help you habitualize a helping mindset.
The goal is to learn about a woman rather than trying to figure women out. That’s why I say awareness is all about exploring rather than identifying specific unifying themes about women. Because every woman’s different.
Instead of bringing a one size fits all approach, you can actually achieve more in a shorter amount of time by having an explorative mindset.
There’s a great book by Michael Masterson called “Ready, Fire, Aim.”
The title says it all. You’re never going to be completely ready. You’re never going to be done, and I think that’s something that’s guys get caught up with. A good way to get around that is to not have your goals as concrete achievements.
While it’s good to set benchmarks: This year I want to make X amount of money or I want to buy myself this car. It’s more important to know you want to live your life based on your values.
The goal is not so much a concrete physical achievement or exact measurement of performance but how you feel about yourself. The goal is to feel like you are embodying the values that you want; that you think are the most important for you.
The true alpha male in a group is not thinking about whether or not he’s alpha. Maybe in the primate world they are, but not in humans. He’s thinking about who he wants to be and everything he does is trying to move closer in that direction or trying to embody what he feels are the most important values in his life.
It’s about appreciation – just exercising appreciation. This is a big thing in the gym. This is what holds guys back. They have this ideal self they want to look like and they’ve been going 2/3 months; they’ve been busting their ass and they’re still not there yet.
It starts to wear you down and you start to worry that it’s not ever going to happen. The biggest problem is consistency. It’s not necessarily how much weight you’re lifting or how many reps you can do. What’s more important is – are you showing up 3 times a week?
That’s always been my challenge: consistency. And what I found with the gym is that it’s not about me hitting some sort of benchmark; It’s just something I do every day because that’s who I am. And so even if I go in and have a weak day or even if I’m slacking when I go in there, I’m not really pushing myself – I’m showing up and putting in the time because physical health is part of my life, it’s a value I have.
So to do that, to embody that value, I need to just show up to the gym, because something’s better than nothing. Even if it’s a shit workout, i’m not avoiding it. I’m going in there and giving it a go.
