How to Pick Up Women and Buy Groceries at the Same Time
I’ve never been a big fan of going out just to pick up women. This creates a feeling of pressure, and is very time-inefficient (and anyone who knows me knows I’m all about efficiency).
If you are finding it difficult to make time to go out and socialize, or you always see women at the grocery store but don’t know what to say, what I’m about to tell you is essential to meeting more women.
One thing you may not know is that women actually fantasize about meeting men at the grocery store. It’s a romantic story that a woman would like to tell her friends.
Think about the difference between:
“I met this guy at the bar. I he came up to me and told me I was hot, so I talked to him and gave him my number because he was cute.”
“So I was at the grocery store, in my sweats, totally in my own world. Then out of nowhere this really sweet guy comes up to me and asked me “What’s for dinner?” It was totally cocky, but he had this really warm smile that just made the whole thing funny. Next thing I knew he was asking for my number. I hope he calls. I’ve never had a guy approach me like that!”
Let’s break this down. First of all, my number one piece of advice for meeting women anywhere is to be really warm. You can ask her any boring question with a really warm, loving expression, and it will come off attractive.
This can be difficult if you are running errands and not really in a great mood. So here’s the trick to get in a warm, positive mood. Let her beauty make you happy! Most guys look at attractive women and get a “wolf look” on their face. This is no good. I’ve had gay guys look at me with the predatory look, and it is NOT flattering. It’s scary!
When you see a cute girl at the grocery store, try saying a mantra in your head, to get you in the mood:
“Wow. What a beeeeautiful woman!” And let your face light up.
So, make sure you have a warm facial expression, and a calm upright posture. Then say something light and flirty – in other words, indicate that you think she’s attractive, but don’t come on too strong. Some examples:
“So what’s for dinner?” This implies you’d like to have dinner with her, showing your interest.
“A cute woman who actually cooks! Cool points for you.”
“I’ll have to come here on (whatever day it is) more often. I never see cute women here.”
“You just might be the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in the produce section.”
You can also try something totally innocent, like asking her if she knows how to boil a lobster, and then transitioning into small talk about eachother’s lives. Here’s an example:
You: “Hey do you know which cut is more tasty – New York strip or Porterhouse?”
Her: “I think porterhouse but I’m not sure.”
You: “Oh ok…I’m having some friends over and I’m in charge of the grill, but to be honest, my grill skills are a little sketchy haha.”
Her: “Haha yea that’s something a guy should know.”
You: “Yeah I’m working on it. I’ll work on my skills and maybe cook something for you.”
Her: “Oh yeah? I don’t even know you!”
You: “Let’s fix that. I’m (your name). So are you from the area?”
In a situation that is not inherently social (i.e. not a bar, club, or class), any kind of conversation you have a with a woman will have a romantic edge to it. The real challenge is to get over your own anxiety. Do this by keeping it simple, showing women you think they are attractive, and having a conversation to learn about who they are as people. This is the natural way, and what works in the real world.
5 Easy convo starters: café’s
I work from home, which means I work in café’s. I can’t focus at home. Everytime I tell myself, “OK today I’m going to sit at my desk and write,” it never happens. I end up playing Xbox, browsing the web, or taking naps. So I spend a lot of time at café’s. I’m also girl-crazy (a girl told me that when I was five years old, and I think it describes me pretty well, even today). So I’ve figured out some ways to meet women at café’s. As always, I like to make it easy!
#1 “Work or school?”
If you see a girl with her laptop and notes out, she is likely studying or doing something work-related. Now the challenge here is that you want to show your interest by being curious about her, but you don’t want to be nosy or distract her if she’s really into what she’s doing. 9 times out of 10, simply asking, “work or school?” will get her to look up and answer with a smile.
The key is to say this as you sit down or walk past – don’t walk up to her, stand there, and ask. This would make her nervous because it looks like you are going to take up a lot of her time with your romantic intention. Just break the ice, sit down, and give her some space. When she answers, there are two more questions to ask: “What are you studying/what do you do?” And, “Do you like it/How is that?” This will get her talking, and you’re in.
#2 “What’d you get?”
This is obvious, especially if she gets one of those crazy caramel frappiato mochatocha chonga drinks. Odds are, that’s her favorite drink, or she’s trying something new. Either way, ask her if it’s good. She’ll probably smile and tell you about her drink. The conversation will die, and that’s OK, because it will be ten times easier to reinitiate when you think of something else to talk about (i.e. something else from this list).
#3 “Have you been to (local spot)?”
A café is typically filled with customers from the area. That means that she’s probably been to, or heard about, any bar, restaurant, park, or other attraction in the area. You can ask if she’s been to the new Cuban restaurant down the street, and get her opinion of it. If you have already been, you can still ask her, and then tell her how good it is. Again, this is just another easy way to initiate a conversation without making her uncomfortable, while showing your interest. After this topic, you can easily switch by asking if she’s from the neighborhood, where she grew up, what she does, etc.
#4 Make fun of yourself
Another easy way to start a conversation is by making a statement about yourself. Of course, if you just say something random about yourself, like “I brushed my teeth today,” you will look like a nutjob. But if you crack a joke about yourself, or think aloud about a mistake you made, you will get a laugh, and you’ll look charming. The Irish are very good at this.
For example, let’s say you try to get a drink you’ve never had – a caramel choka monga flippiato with sprinkles. As you sit down, you see a cute college girl at the table next to you. You could say, “I only ordered this because I’m comfortable with my sexuality,” or “I hope this doesn’t make me less of a man. Don’t tell anyone you saw me drinking this.”
#5 I love this place because
Another easy way to start a conversation with a statement is to say something really positive – something that will make the other person smile and feel good as well. Obviously you can give them a compliment, but in a café, being direct like that can sometimes backfire. Talk about what a beautiful day it is (even if it’s snowy, you can talk about how pretty the snow is). Talk about how cool the café is – how you like all the weird decorations and pictures. Say, “I love the coffee here. They make it really dark, which I need. I think if it weren’t for coffee I’d never get anything done.” Going first will make her comfortable reciprocating, and boom, you’re having a conversation. Keep it simple, and say it with a smile!
Categories: Brian Burke, Vin Dicarlo, Pandora’s Box, Attraction Code, DSP, S Cubed, Dicarlo Coaching, Dicarlo Drills Bootcamp, Dating Coach for Men, Men’s Dating Coach, Brian Burke Pickup Artist, Brian Burke PUA
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