Getting really down on yourself about every women that you didn’t approach will only hinder you. I’ve experienced this personally. I’ve always had a problem with regret thoughts.
It makes you feel like you have negative momentum and it makes you think Oh, I didn’t approach that girl so the whole day’s fucked.
Instead of Oh, I just didn’t feel like it.
I noticed I started doing this to myself. Even when I was coaching guys and they were expecting me to demonstrate. There would be a girl that they would see that I was looking at and they’d be like “Go for it!”
They’d be excited like “Oh, we’re gonna see the master demonstrate” and I would feel pressure. Now on that day for some reason, she was nice to look at, but I just didn’t feel like doing it at that moment. I wasn’t that excited about it.
So I started owning it. “Nah, I don’t feel like talking to her right now.”
A couple times, guys would be like “Well, I thought you wouldn’t get nervous?”
I would reply, “I’m not nervous, I just don’t really feel like approaching a woman right now. I will, you guys will see it.”
It was a big breakthrough for me and that actually made me better when approaching the woman that I was excited about.
It’s about pressure. It’s about emotional sustainability. When meeting women is emotionally sustainable for you, you’ll get a lot of practice, you’ll be able to approach a lot of them. When approaching women is a big deal, you won’t be able to get that practice, you won’t be able to get those reps in.
You’ll be nervous and so you won’t get that positive feedback from women that helps you build those beliefs that make you think Oh, this is fun and easy. I can do this.
You won’t be able to get those numbers that help your learning but also help you have a large pool to draw from so you can make a good decision about who you spend your time with.
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Let’s say a woman makes a little joke about you. Instead of trying to be witty, or trying to come up with some clever answer – wrap your arms around her and pick her up and squeeze her and shake her. Get her up off her feet and shake her, and it will be like saying she’s a smart ass and you’re just going to shake that out of her.
Make sure you’re very playful with this.
Another way to challenge a woman is to give her a little spanking. Say you ask her to do something, and she forgets to do it or doesn’t do it. Or she’s being a brag – she’s busting your balls or whatever, you give her a little spank.
Another way to do this is to put her wrist behind her back. Take her hand, get behind her, and just hold her hand there behind her back.
All of this is mock rough, mock play, or mock angry. You’re never doing this out of anger – it’s totally playful.
I actually like when women get kind of smart with me – they want to make fun of me or tease me a little bit – because it gives me an opportunity to give her a physical punishment.
Another thing you can do is do what I call “stepping up.” Girls like getting loud or trying to act cocky and you walk up to her and just really close like in her face — nose to nose and chest to chest. You have a playful look on your face challenging her to take it outside.
You’re pretending that you’re going to fight her, but you’re only getting really close. That is really powerful. You actually want to touch your chest to her chest and your stomach to her stomach. You really want to get up close.
That creates a really powerful charge in the interaction. So powerful that you’ll actually feel the urge to back up. But don’t. It will ruin it.
Physically, when a woman does something that is cute, that is something I like, or she tells me something about herself I reward that with physical touch.
These are not things you should just go for out of the blue. There are signals and ways to move into physical touch that you need to be aware of and observe.
The head, neck and face are very vulnerable areas for a person. Also, she puts work into her hair, and you don’t want to mess that up.
Let’s say I’m talking to a woman and she makes a joke. I’ll put my hand on her arm above her elbow briefly as I laugh with her. This says I like that, I like a girl that has a sense of humor.
At some point I’ll say I’m glad I came over and talked to her. I’m having a good time with her. I’ll rub her back very sensually, showing a lot of love through my hand, touching her with appreciation.
Later on in the conversation, maybe I’m talking and she smiled and laughed and her face really lit up. It’s just really pretty to me, so I’ll caress her jaw line and I’ll tell her, “God, I love your smile. You are so pretty.”
That’s an example of how you would escalate, gradually, with touch.
This is very powerful because you’re touching her – which implies that your relationship is a physical one – and yet you’re not even bringing up sex, or giving any reason why you’re touching her.
It communicates that if you keep touching her in this way, you are going to go to bed together. A woman is extremely aware that you’re touching her, but you’re doing it in a natural way that doesn’t create any resistance.
If you think someone has your best interest in mind, you will let them take control of you.
You use the justification that you’re protecting her as a reason to really control her body – moving her body in a direction. Putting your arms around her or guiding her. Opening the door and putting your hand on her back as you guide her through it.
These are all very protective things. You’re taking control of her body. You’re being dominant which means you’re priming her to be submissive. When a woman feels submissive she gets extremely turned on because as human beings our sex is polarized.
When the context has a dominant-submissive dynamic, it will become sexual in both parties’ minds. When you’re in a more dominant role with a woman – say you have women working for you at your job – you’re going to think very sexually about these women because we have this dominance with power.
Consequently, when a woman is submissive to a man in a workplace, or any situation, she immediately starts thinking of him in a sexual way. This is why you see a lot of women that have crushes on their bosses, or men having affairs with their secretaries.
In terms of protective control, one thing you can do is actually talk about this and punishments or rewards.
She will let you have this physical dominance, as long as it’s framed as Protective Control. You’re protecting her. You don’t have to say that — you just do it with your energy. But as long as you’re protecting her as you’re controlling her body, she will let you do it because you are a leader who has her best interest in mind.
You can talk about moving her around, putting her into outfits, putting her into some heels because her legs will look great in them, I would say, “If we went to the park, I would sit you up on that wall with flowers on it and then come up and sit next to you.”
I’m having her picture me picking her up and sitting her down on this wall. And that’s a very dominant thing to do. When I’m taking control of her body, as long as it’s protective she won’t fight it.
Talking about lifting a woman and putting her up on something, or anytime you convey that you will control her body in a loving way is very, very powerful.
I’ll even go so far as to say, “I would love to hold you down and just explore your body with my mouth, find all your little spots.” I’ll say, “Of course, we can’t do that right now, but I’m just letting you know that I was thinking about it.”
I take that pressure out of it. There’s no pressure in it – and this is how I am with sex.
One interesting side effect of being so explorative and curious about a woman and really having that intention of mastering her body from the start is, after a while, you’ll start to really get a strong sense of how to touch a woman.
Where to look, where to kiss, where to touch her. You’ll have stuff that you can say to her that you like doing. If you can get enough experience with women’s bodies at some point, you’ll be in a conversation telling her that you’ve found that you really want to put a woman on her back and lift her legs up and actually, for some reason cross their ankles because you just think that it looks so pretty, that it just makes a woman’s shape look so nice. You really like to just lick up and down the backs of a woman’s legs, and linger on that soft spot behind the knee. Tell her you’ll just suck on that and you bet that it will drive her crazy.
Really get into it, but at the same time no leering. None of this nudge nudge, wink wink, you should do this. You’re just telling her what you like and what you would like to try with her. Send her the message that it will be fun. No pressure.
Sexual tension comes down to talking about your sex and being generally interested in it — you’re talking about your body and being generally interested in hers. You’re using touch as a reward (or as a playful punishment) and then also talking about – and taking – protective control of her body. You’re moving her body around for her own good. All of this is fueled by your genuine love and appreciation of women.
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Cultivates creativity – necessary in social situations, and the hallmark of elite operation. *8
– Drills teaching guys to copy me, theyd encounter situations unprepared – teaching tech vs. way of thinking (college – educated resonance) – fundamentals – give a man a fish vs. teach him to fish
I:PA*CE forces your best natural self to emerge.
The man who you want to be is who you really are.
I:PA*CE gives you a structure to eliminate deception within yourself and to others. It focuses your attention.
I:PA*CE forces you to be your best you. It cultivates creativity.
It’s an open system in the sense that it’s more of a template based on fundamental principles of a successful thinking process.
So it’s open enough for you to adapt and be creative. I’ve found that more important than knowing what to say is having the ability to be creative and improvise.
Most methods or systems out there are teaching men to be this specific seduction guy. They give you structured things to say regardless of the context you are in. Or worse, they try and get you to create that context.
“This is the right way to do this” actually holds you back because creativity is way more important. Way more valuable to success and elite performance.
This is especially true with women. I can’t imagine talking to a woman with a list of things to say. That doesn’t make any sense.
Try planning out a conversation with a person when you’re not with them. Then talk to that person and try to stick to your plan.
If you do stick to your plan, you’re going to come off really fucking weird. They’re going to get uncomfortable.
But it’s likely you won’t even be able to stick to your plan because you’re dealing with another human being that has a whole universe inside their head too.
Being creative with women is important because every woman is different.
There are principles like embrace that unite them, but every women needs to be approached as a unique person.
That doesn’t mean you’re starting from scratch. In fact, that means that’s actually going to accelerate you’re a ability to connect with her because what every other guy is doing is treating every women like they’re the same.
They’re treating them like they’re robots. Press this button and turn this knob, and she’ll have sex with you.
And what guys are trying to do is figure out the combination of buttons.
But if you approach her as a unique person, and actually explore her and get to know her, develop an awareness of her unique flavor of embrace; you’ll be able to make her feel like the woman she wants to be.
You’ll very quickly understand what makes her tick. Whereas if you come in with these preconceived notions and plans, you’re going to be blinded as to what makes her tick. Your assumptions are going to be wrong or inaccurate.
Whereas, if you just come in and ask her what makes her tick and pay attention. You’ll get much further a lot faster.
And women can feel this. Women can feel when a man sees them.
What do I mean when I say a man “sees” them? – women always talk about being seen. “I feel like when he looks at me, he sees me.”
What that means is, when you’re looking at her, you’re also focused on her mentally.
You’re not doing what those other guys are doing, looking at her but in your head thinking about what you’re going to say next to impress her.
Instead, you’re looking at her and trying to learn about her and understand her.
I:PA*CE forces you to cultivate creativity. Creativity is really important because different situations require you to adapt.
How often do you see a woman just standing at the bar by herself, looking cute, ready to meet a guy? It never happens. What you’ll see is 3 women dancing, moving around and talking to people.
You will see that here and there. But for the most part, when you see the woman you want to talk to – there’s a dynamic situation going on.
She’s passing you on the street. Maybe the next day you’re in the checkout line and there’s a hot woman in front of you.
It’s not a huge difference but you’re going to have to adapt. And if you come in with this preconceived script of what you’re going to say. You’re going to prevent your own progress.
You’re going to say: “Shit, that won’t work right now.”
Think about the most famous athletes. The highest achievers. Why are they on the highlight reel? Because when a crazy situation arose, they successfully adapted to it.
Michael Jordan. Jordan was the first guy on a consistent game-to-game basis, to jump up in the air, but then change his mind and do something different because of what the defenders did.
The going up, bringing it back down, putting it back up again or going under the rim and going coming out the other side. No one was doing that before.
Michael Jordan, he took the game like 20 years into the future because he was able to be creative when he needed to be.
In ehe Special Forces it’s the same. They are the highest echelon of military we have. Why is that? Because they have to think on their feet.
You send a team out with a specific objective. It’s always going to be a tough mission. You send these guys out because they can adapt and be creative and figure out a way to get it done.
That’s what makes them special.
In any context, what makes someone an elite operator is their ability to be creative. Think about great artists. Meeting women and connecting with women is an art.
Doing anything well is an art.
Beauty? Well it’s about being creative. It’s about expressing beauty creatively.
You can even think about those special ops guys as artists.
Military Operation is their canvas. Weapons are their paintbrush.
As morbid as it sounds, killing is an art.
This is the fundamental difference between I:PA*CE and any other method or system you’ll come across. Those methods will tell you what to say
I:PA*CE will show you how to think.Continue reading >>
Any thought of what she thinks of you is just not good. You should be thinking about what you think of her. This is why you just cannot see a woman and immediately start looking for reasons why you shouldn’t approach her, why it won’t work out or why she might not like you.
As soon as you do that, you’ve already lost.
You really have to remind yourself how important this is. If you approach a woman and you have that thought, cut that shit out.
If you really want to change, you have to step up and talk to a beautiful woman that makes you nervous and focus on what you like and dislike about her. You have to do that. it’s just like if you haven’t been to the gym in three weeks, maybe you’ve got one more week until you’re back to where you were a year ago. You have to get in there and do it.
You have to do it. It’s the same thing. It might suck, but do you really want to change? Do you really want to change how you think?
Do this a few times with women that you see and you’ll notice that’s going to make it easier for you. That’s going to make it easier to meet a lot of women, and from a larger pool you can make a better selection.
So if you’re really serious about this and you really want to find a good woman and possibly a good mother for your kids, get fucking serious because this is your life!
Try approaching a woman and just decide that you’re not going to try at all. You’re not going to try to make her like you. You’re not going to try to say or do the right thing. You’re just going to go up and start interacting with her.
That why there’s an “i” in front of iI:PA*CE. You have to decide what you want to do. Do you want to make approaching women a chore and difficult or do you want to make it light and fun and easy? Something that you can do any time and something that you enjoy.
So you need to be having fun in these interactions, you need to be joking around and expressing your stupid corny sense of humor.
Here are some easy openers that you can say that you don’t have to even think about:
It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t lead to anything. Focus on lowering the mental effort it takes with each woman. It needs to be a sustainable practice.
If I try to go to the gym and every time I wanted to beat my old record so I work really hard and exert myself to the fullest every time I go in, really quick, I’m going to stop showing up completely.
Unless you’re one of those guys that absolutely loves being in the gym, this will happen. What’s really going to keep you going to the gym is just showing up, even on days that you don’t want to, just showing up and doing what you can.
If today’s going to be a soft day so be it, but at least show up. Don’t go backwards.
We’re talking about training here. Trying to get you to a certain point. It’s just like when you go to practice, you’re not doing the things that you’re going to do in a game. You’re focusing on different elements.
You’re focusing on shifting your mindset from worrying if she likes you to having fun. Not allowing yourself to make a lot of effort. Focusing on appreciation first, then using I:PA*CE to drive the conversation.
There’s going to be a point where you don’t really need to think about this stuff anymore. That’s when you’re really going to start to have success; because the less thoughts you’re having when you’re dealing with a woman, the better.
It helps you be more aware of her. You want to be focused on her. That’s when it’s going to get really good. When you have the conversation down and you have the mindset down. At that point you don’t have any unnecessary thoughts and you can just focus totally on her.Continue reading >>
Conversation and touch are the two most important factors when maneuvering into a sexual realm when talking to a woman.
Just think about physical education.
It’s easy to remember because, especially for guys from the United States who had gym class. If you remember, it was called Physical Education, and that’s pretty much what you’re doing with a woman when you’re talking about sex; you’re having physical education.
On the one hand, you can say PE stands for physical experience. You want to talk about what you like to do, and what you like to have done. When you’re talking to a woman, you want to get physical education from her. You are guiding her, telling her to educate you on her body.
You are getting her to educate you about her body:
Women have different kinds of underwear for different occasions. Sometimes I’ll look at the skirt she’s wearing, or jeans, and run my hand on her hip to feel her panties. This is, of course, in the middle of a conversation where we’re both feeling comfortable with each other. I’ll put my hand on her hip, and I’ll feel until she asks “What are you doing?” I’ll say, “I was looking for boy shorts. I really like boy shorts and I was picturing you in boy shorts. I want to know if you are wearing them.”
I’m talking about what I like, and I’m just asking her if she likes that or if she wears that.
Now, the tone or the energy you have here is very important. I’m not saying, “Are you wearing boy shorts? Because if you are, maybe we can get in a hotel or something like that.” It’s simply, “I like it, and I was just curious to see if you like it, or if you have those on.”
Another thing that you could talk about is what kind of sexual relationships she likes. I asked one girl what turns her on, and she told me “Intimacy. I really like just the feeling of intimacy, feeling really close to the person, feeling a connection with the person, like we are really sharing ourselves with each other.”
I had another girl who told me, “I like games.” And I was like, “What? What does that mean?” because that sounded bad to me.
She said, “I like to pretend like I’m a schoolgirl, or that you’re my dad and I’m in trouble, things like that,” and that’s what turns her on.
You can ask these kinds of questions, although, I wouldn’t ask her right off the bat. I have done that when I felt confident about it, and I felt like it would make sense, but it was too soon before.
It’s also good to talk about what parts of her are more sensitive. You can actually explore her body a little bit while you’re talking.
A woman’s whole body is sensitive and she has all kinds of little places. I remember this one girl, when I sucked on the inner part of her wrist, it would drive her crazy and she got super turned on. Another girl would wig out and just couldn’t take it when I kissed her between her shoulder blades. She was just really turned on.
Personally, I like to get kissed on my neck. I like it when a woman rubs on my chest, my back, and my stomach. It really relaxes me.
What really turns me on is direct contact. If a girl grabs my dick, I’ll get very excited. I don’t think I’m alone there.
But women are different–their skin is thinner, and has more nerve endings. They feel sex throughout their entire body. You can explore non-intimate parts of a woman’s body right there during the conversation. And get her really turned on!
The main point is that you are interested in becoming the master of her body.
If this girl is a part of your life, if you’re interested in seeing her more than once, you should become a master of her body.
First of all this will make her devoted to you, because no other guy does this. No other guy in the past has been this focused on her and on pleasuring her. She knows that it’s going to be a long time before she finds another guy like this. And even then, it takes time to do such a thing.
The best way to become good in giving a woman pleasure is to approach each woman as an individual, and explore them wholeheartedly. Be extremely curious about them, constantly, just trying to find your way of touching them and really taking note of things that they respond to.
Have a total focus on her body and what makes her feel good, and on treating her like a total individual. Don’t try to pull moves out of your bag of tricks that you’ve done with other girls. That’s not as effective as actually approaching her with an empty mind, with no expectations, like a student at his first day of class. That’s really powerful and it also says a lot about you. It’s such a loving, caring thing to do.
Men and women have a unique opportunity when they get together to experience pleasure that they can’t experience anywhere else. A woman can give me pleasure that I can’t get from playing video games, or eating food, or making money, or buying things, or hanging out with friends, or even jerking off. A woman can give me pleasure that I can’t get anywhere else, and same is true on her end.
We have a unique opportunity to really make each other feel good. What most guys do is they approach sex more like a notch on their belt. They want to fuck her and brag about it to their friends – or add a stroke to their tally on the mental chalk board.
There is no love in it. There’s no passion or love or genuine appreciation that a woman can sense from her man. If she senses that you really care about making her feel good, and you’re interested in her body as a unique individual being, that’s endearing and attractive – and she will return the favor tenfold. I guarantee that.
It all starts in conversation. When you are first talking to a woman, you start asking where she’s from. Ask how long she’s been here. Ask her what she thinks of it.
She tells you what she thinks and you ask if she has any time for fun. Sounds like her work takes a lot of her time. She tells you that she likes to mess around on the computer or watch movies, or go out. Everything she’s told you so far is more mental hobbies. Sitting on the computer? You don’t really need your body for that – you’re just sitting.
Here’s where you can ask her what kind of stuff she does that’s physical.
You can tell her that’s cool, you like her hobbies. But actually, the first thing you noticed about her is how curvy she is.
You saw her dancing and the way she moved her body. Imply sexuality.
She might tell you that she works out and dances. You can even say that, as a guy, you don’t ever get the urge to dance. You don’t ever go out and think you have to dance tonight to let off steam. But ask her why she dances. Maybe she says she likes to dance because after a long week, it feels good.
Then you can ask if she’s really in touch with her body – is she very sensitive? Does she notice changes in her body?
Women experience emotions in their whole body. They experience changes in their lives and they feel it in their body. So ask her that – does she experience a lot of emotions throughout her whole body?
Then start talking about her body, what her physical experiences are like.
Tell her about your body, that some parts are really sensitive, but other parts are just kind of functional. You have pretty tough skin, but you do really like it when a girl really scratches your chest or runs her fingernails over my back. Whatever really relaxes you and turns you on. Tell her that.
At this point, the woman will most likely mention that she loves backrubs. But everyone loves backrubs. Ask her what else she likes. How else does she like to be touched?
Now we’re getting into real sensual stuff.
She says she likes to be kissed on her neck, or gives other specifics. And now you know certain places that are really sensitive.
It’s usually the soft, hidden spots on the woman’s body — the wrist, the back of the knee, the inner thigh, the clavicle – any place that’s vulnerable.
Ask her, has she ever been kissed behind her knees?
I have a thing for ankles. So I’ll ask a girl if she’s ever had a guy nibble her ankles, and she’ll say no. I’ll tell her that I love doing that. That’s the first thing I go for. I might say that I know it’s kind of weird, but I just want to see a girl’s ankle – I just want to grab them and kiss them and bite them. I think they’re so pretty.
And then I won’t say anything else. I’ll just let her take the conversation from there.
I’m not actually saying that I’d like to do it to her, that I want to bite her ankles. That would be pressure on her to actually agree to it. I don’t want to put pressure on her. I want her to make herself available out of her own free will.Continue reading >>
Elite, SPEED, Real life is chaotic so it can be hard to learn from experience. I:PA*CE structures your experience, it gives you an extremely accurate framework in which to organize your experience, so you’re learning process is accelerated.
– Need story
Awareness will help you understand a woman’s true nature; a woman’s ideal self.
When you start to understand women on that level, you intuitively are able to connect with them because you understand them.
That’s something I discovered when I made Pandora’s Box.
Just by understanding how women think better I’m able to connect with them much better without thinking about it. When we’re talking, I get it.
It’s the same way when I’m talking to a guy. I could meet a guy at a bar, I don’t know him. Maybe he’s sitting a couple stools away and we’re watching the game.
I can just strike up a conversation with the guy and be able to connect with him because we’re both men. I understand him because I’m a man.
Understanding the 3 dimensions of embrace; inspire, nurture, surrender, and having an appreciation for her time, which is the 4th dimension, will allow you to do this with women too.
That will give you a great framework so that when you’re texting a woman or you’re trying to set up a time to hangout or you’re following up with the number you’ve got, you’ll understand what’s going on.
You’re not just wandering around in the dark. You’ll know why she flaked on you a couple times or why she’s not responsive when you try to set up a date.
You’ll be able to navigate that stuff much easier.
Awareness is not something you really think consciously about in the moment. It’s something you read about and reflect on and talk to women about.
Awareness is the conversational stuff you use with women.
You use I:PA*CE to demonstrate thrust, build awareness, and acquire control by triggering respect, safety and anticipation.
You do this by talking about ACT. By talking about awareness, control and thrust.
In other words talking about sex in a way that turns women on. That’s what ACT is.
You talk about your own sexuality – that’s thrust.
You talk about women’s sexuality – that’s awareness.
You talk about sex itself, the things you like to do.
All the while, you’re touching her, getting closer to her. Looking in her eyes, becoming more sexual with her which is the process of control.
I say control because as a woman, to her she feels like she’s giving up control. That’s what the sexual process is. That’s what escalation is for her.
Then you can use it to actually acquire control. She surrenders to you and then you take that and you give it back to her.
And that’s what you do when you get a blowjob.
You can then magnify the sense of that control and create meaning for the act. Then you can take that control back and fuck her.
Now the meaning of the act is deeper and more powerful. When she gets fucked by you, your dick is not just a dick, It’s a symbol of that meaning.
And you’ll notice that women will have more orgasms with you because of the meaning of the sex that you’re having with them.
So it’s like a control spiral. You take control then you magnify it. then you give it back, magnify it, take it back and you’re in control of this powerful connection between the two of you..
What this means is that you also give it to her at times.
Maybe she ties you to the bedpost and teases you. If she goes down on you, she the one in control of you.
Or she’s on top. She’ riding you.
Those experiences are so thrilling, so exhilarating for the her and for you because it’s an exception. Because now she’s in control.
This little woman is in control of this big strong man. That’s a thrill for her.
Continue reading >>
Developing these values and life skills is like learning a new sport.
There are skills you can get better at, and when you first start the game can seem overwhelming. You’re in the middle of the field with the ball bouncing around all these people. It’s just chaos and you can’t make any sense of it. Over time you figure out where to direct your attention.
Approaching is different from sports in the sense that it’s not physically stressful. At least it definitely shouldn’t be. But the mental aspect is very similar. Especially when you’re first getting started.
The other thing when meeting women is that it’s not like you’re doing high school sports and then you move up to the pros and the pros are a million times harder.
The skill that you actually need to get the woman that you want is pretty similar to being one of the top three guys at a neighbourhood court in a pickup game. It’s the equivalent of being one of the starters on a varsity sports team.
It’s the same level of thought that goes into it but it’s not like you have to be flawless. What women are looking for is your mindset. That’s why we focus on mindset when we’re dealing with women. Because they’re trying to figure out what your mindset is.
I call them focalities. These focalities make up a mindset of leadership. When you’re focusing on these focalities (I call them I:PA*CE) without letting deception get in there, it let’s her know that you’re a leader and so she respects you. She feels safe with you and anticipates good things sexually with you.
What makes a man good in bed is being able to take the lead, and a part of leading is learning about the person you’re dealing with and helping them feel good.
When you see the woman that sets you on the right track you want to be using I:PA*CE. That governs your moment to moment thought.
If you’re looking for a long term partner, you should definitely focus on finding someone that you have chemistry with. And that’s going to mean that you don’t place so much value on every person.
It’s almost counterintuitive. Your instinct tells you to focus and treat every girl as if she could be the one, but that attitude only hinders you.
If you are looking for the one, you want to treat every woman as if it’s not that big a deal; like you don’t care if you impress her. You’re just feeling her out, testing the waters. You’re just seeing if there’s chemistry. It’s a much less intense, less outcome dependent mindset.
If it is a big deal that you make it happen with one particular girl you see on the train, for example, that’s going to take a lot out of you. You’re going to get tired and you’re going to get worn out. In fact, you might get tired before you even talk to her.
If instead, it’s easy to approach her and approach other women, then you can approach a lot of women because it’s sustainable now. You’re not exerting so much energy and getting so stressed out. It doesn’t matter what your goals are.
If your goal is to be able to just have some casual sex partners or find the one special woman, you’re going to need to approach and you’re going to need to interact with a lot of women and be able to increase your conversions.
In other words, if you like the girl, if you like her personality, you don’t screw it up. You do things that actually get her excited and make her want to spend time with you as well.
Now that doesn’t mean that you’d go in and bombard her with questions. It’s not like an interview where you just bombard the person with questions. You have the same sort of interaction you’d have with anybody; with questions and statements, but what you’re paying attention to is whether or not you like what you see.
So the whole time in the back of your mind, you should be reminding yourself: “Okay, is she worth my time?”
It’s that mindset, that subtle element, where you’re not just talking to shoot the shit and you’re not just talking to impress her to get laid. Instead, you’re talking to her to see if she’s worth your time. Women can feel that. Everyone can feel that.Continue reading >>
Women don’t typically think about random fantasies with random people. If a man sees an attractive girl walking by a lot of times later he’s at work thinking about her, and he gets turned on. He doesn’t even know this girl, has never talked to her, but he’s still turned on by her.
Women think about guys that they know, or characters from movies or books; men that they’re familiar with, that they feel a sense of connection with. They will think about those guys.
If they’re seeing a guy, they’ll consciously direct their fantasies so that the fantasies are about him.
I’ve had so many women tell me when I ask them what they fantasize about, “Well, I do occasionally fantasize, but most of my fantasies when I masturbate are about you and me, I think about us having sex.”
It’s possible that they were just trying to make me feel good, but they don’t come off that way, and there was no need for them to do that for me. I was actually trying to guide them into admitting that they thought about another guy, or porn they’ve seen. They were very adamant about the fact that they really thought about me, and they expected that I do the thing.
What that told me is not that I’m some awesome stud, but that women tend to fantasize about guys they know, guys they have experiences with already, guys they’re familiar with.
Coupled with that, they’re extremely horny all the time, and they enjoy sex, I would say more than men. As long as you’re giving them a decent sexual experience, it’s going to be really nice for her. All of them talk about men, and men performing, and whether they dig it, or whether this guy is good in bed or that guy is good in bed.
We’re floating in this idea that it’s the man’s job to perform. In reality, it is pretty fucking easy to make a woman feel good in bed, because they’re just so sensitive; they’re so sexual by nature.
They’re very intelligent, and they’re more in tune with their bodies. As a man you feel the sensation mostly in your genitals, mostly in your dick. For a woman, she feels it throughout her whole body. She feels the pleasure touch her whole body. It’s like waves of energy. That sensation that you feel in your dick? Imagine that going through your whole body – that’s a woman’s experience with sex, so it’s a really powerful thing.
Maybe this is surprising to you, but it’s true. They really, fucking like it. You’ve got to acknowledge that.
Secondly, you also have to admit that you like sex, even if you haven’t had it yet. You get turned on, and you’re a sexual person. You have to be really honest with yourself. If you have a strict religious upbringing, or you were caught with a girl when you were younger, or were caught jerking off and got in a lot of trouble for it and repressed that side of yourself, you have to work on opening up to that side of yourself and really acknowledging that you are a sexual being, and liking you’re sexuality. You’ve got to love your dick. You’ve got to love your body. You’ve got to look at yourself and see yourself as a fuck machine, and as a sexual guy.
You have to remind yourself of that thinking as a mental habit, thinking about yourself as an object of sex.
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“How can I make you come?”
If I’m out and I want a girl to come meet up with me, or if I’m sitting at a bar and it’s happy hour, I’m having a burger and beer or something, I have a handful of girls I could call to join me. I’ll send them all a text. Something like, “I’m at this bar relaxing with a beer and a burger. It’s really nice. You should come meet me.” Most of them respond with something like “I don’t know, I’m just got off work and i’m on my way home now.” And so i ‘ll respond, “How can I make you come?”
I usually send this to more than one girl at a time. What usually happens is a couple of girls won’t be able to make it, and a couple of girls will perceive the sexuality in the message, and what girl doesn’t want to come? They’ll pick up on that, their thoughts will become sexual. Now, I’m not saying anything overtly sexual, so they don’t have to fight it, they don’t have to resist. We can both just keep pretending what I said is normal, basically.
It also puts the fire under her to show up. So there are the girls who say they can after they finish what they’re doing and then see what time it is. Then there’s usually one girl who says she’ll get changed and be there in fifteen minutes or half an hour.
When you can, the way to really optimize your success is to develop your own personal style because congruence with yourself is the X factor. It’s so important.
When you are just being yourself totally and doing the kind of things that you enjoy doing, whether it’s some kind of technique, or telling stories, or being really direct, or being really sweet and romantic, it’s all good. Whatever your style is, you’ve got to do that. It’s not about doing it right or wrong, it’s about being you. That’s the most important thing.
Overt sexual advances means putting pressure on the woman. I think that’s why overt sexual advances tend to ruin the vibe, ruin sexual tension, and make women put up resistance. It’s not that you’re talking about sex, it’s that you’re talking about sex in a way where she feels pressured to have sex with you.
A lot of times it’s better to just not talk about it. There are so many guys who want to talk about sex, or use their window so she doesn’t resist. What’s really going on is that there’s an internal neediness within you, and she can feel it.
There’s this myth that talking about sex eliminates sexual tension. That’s a false causality. What’s really causing her resistance or ruining the sexual tension is your internal need for it, that she can sense it and that it just feels like pressure. It feels like emotional pressure. You’re trying to get her to do something.
I talk openly about sex with women. I don’t go into everything I do with women or get into graphic detail, but I’m open about my sexuality. I talk about it, and I’m interested in hers. Very interested in hers. I do this in a way that doesn’t pressure her. I don’t talk about it like I’m suggesting maybe she and I can do it. It’s more sharing what I like doing, and asking what she likes doing. It’s much more centered, and relaxed.
The less pressure she feels, the more likely she is to want to do it. When you put sexual thoughts into someone’s head, they get turned on.
We all know how we feel when someone tells you to do something. If someone wants you to do something at work, you instantly don’t want to do it. When a woman feels free to be sexual, she will, because women are extremely sexual. This brings me to a very important point, that a lot of guys seem to be confused about.
Women really like sex.
Just as much, if not more, than men.
The difference, the reason why there’s this kind of general myth that women aren’t as horny as guys is because women don’t go all day thinking about it. Maybe they will if there’s a guy that they’re sleeping with regularly, they’ll think about him during the day, while they are at work, but women don’t think about sex every thirty seconds.
Coming from a lot of women I’ve talked to, there is just a general feeling of energy flowing through them, and after a while, if they don’t get fucked regularly enough, this tension will build up, and they’ll just start to get fidgety and angry, and they’ll get upset easily.
Their emotions get very tumultuous because they have this energy that hasn’t been released in a long time. That energy comes out as them acting really silly or fidgety or angry or emotional or being scatterbrained.
It’s kind of like us as men. If I don’t jerk off or have sex for several days, I feel a tension in my neck and chest, then in my shoulders, and I get mad really quickly, and I haven’t got any patience.
It’s very similar to women, only for them, the emotions are more varied. But that’s how women feel in terms of their horniness, day to day.
Men think about it, and we get hard, we get horny. Women just have this energy that needs to be released or soothed.
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Keeps you aware of the situation – adapt/creative, speed.
– My awareness is most important – skills for convo, plus beliefs, the rest is all logistics and social dynamics
One part of I:PA*CE is protection.
Respect for a man triggers arousal in women
That’s why the prize thing is so important. She has to respect you.
A lot of guys undermine a woman’s respect for them right away by running game. Then they’re just not an option anymore.
There are three triggers that turn women on. Safety is the second one and anticipation is the third. But unlike regular techniques, there’s no defined course of action.
You’re always doing all three. I:PA*CE gives you that awareness of where she’s at.
Does she feel safe with you? Does she respect you? Is she anticipating sex with you?
It also keeps you aware of the environment around you.
When I’m with women, especially really beautiful women, they get stared at a lot. Guys stare at them in really creepy ways because they want to fuck them.
So they’re looking at this girl like they want to rape her, but they don’t say anything. And that’s what makes it so creepy.
The world is a scary place when it comes to men with beautiful women. And that’s what you’re here for, right?
So when you’re with a woman who’s really beautiful, she needs to feels safe with you.
I’ve found the best way to trigger that is not by being all lovey dovey and romantic with her. I can actually trigger that much more powerfully by looking around the environment, using my hands to guide and move her.
By always having a plan or a direction for where we’re going. Basically, I’m a leader. I’m in charge of the situation.
I know the logistics and I’m protective of her body. If someone’s passing by, I move her over and pull her a little bit closer.
This is so powerful and something that guys really don’t appreciate the value of when they’re interacting with women.
A lot of the stuff that I do, I know is good because women have told me this.
I’m really out there meeting a lot of women, sleeping with a lot of women and really doing this.
They say, “I felt really safe with you right away. It’s just the way you touch me, it’s just the way you are. You always seem like you’re aware of everything and you’re just very much a man, like, you know where you’re going.”
They’re so focused on getting sex from the woman rather than protecting her. I’m not saying you should be a “white knight” and lay your coat down for the girl. That’s not really protection.
Protection is, basically, when a woman is with me – she’s safe.
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