Category Archives for Tips

It’s Working!

I had an insight upon waking up today. Yuge.

It’s nothing crazy like “14′ tall white reptilians run the planet”…

It was more of an ARTICULATION of something that’s been marinating in my mind…a concept I’ve been cooking up.

(Which reminds me – 12 years ago, I took control of coaching for Vin Dicarlo’s company, and I called my manual of training drills, “The Cookbook.” All the other coaches were super intrigued and wanted to know what the hell I had in there)

Ok, tangent (I do that sometimes/a lot). Back to the point…

My insight this morning came when my stomach started growling.

Now, I usually wait until AFTER my evening workout (lifting or running) to eat.

During the day, I drink ‘butter coffee’ which is basically Bustello coffee (I like the cheap strong stuff, but you can use whatever kind you lie)…

mixed with a tablespoon of grass-fed, unsalted butter (Kerrey Gold)

And I shake it all up in a mixer bottle (with the metal spiral thing inside).

That’s my fuel until about 6-7pm.

Sounds crazy but it keeps me sharp. If I eat solid food, I get sleepy afterwards.

But here’s the point:

I am trying to lose some fat off my gut. Butter coffee trains your body to burn fat instead of carbs, if that’s the only fuel you feed it for a couple weeks.

And I get HUNGRY in the morning. But then it goes away when I remind myself of something…

When I feel hungry, or I notice my stomach growling, I think…

“It’s working” – meaning my diet (or eating schedule – whatever you want to call it).

So the discomfort doesn’t mean:

“I want to feel better. Time for a sandwich!”

Instead, the hunger means: “Ah yes, my plan is working. Bwahahahaaaa!” (evil genius laugh)

Marinate on that for a sec…

If you embark on a path, and get uncomfortable, that means:

WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING IS WORKING. DO NOT QUIT.

I suspect people fail to reach their goals because they mistake discomfort as a sign to quit, and relieve their pain.

But what if the discomfort actually meant that you were doing it right and that you are on the right path?

If you lift weights, played a sport at a competitive level, or learned a complex skill, you understand the concept of

“No Pain, No Gain.”

If you’re a single guy, apply this to meeting women.

***You only get nervous when approaching the hottest women – the ones you REALLY want.

***You only get nervous when you make a bolder move than you have in the past.

***You only get nervous when you step into the role of Leader, if you have not done it before.

That’s OK. Your discomfort means you’re breaking through your OLD LIMITS. Another phrase for “old limits” is “comfort zone.”

I’m sure you’ve heard that the Comfort Zone is not the place to be, if you want to change your life.

Which means, if you embark on a path, and you begin to feel discomfort, that means…

You’re on the right track, and you should keep going!

Skip the sandwich, stay focused.

I’m breaking through some boundaries right now, and I hope you are too.

And hey, if you want some help and guidance with that, hit me up:

Brian @ the domain above

Also, if you have not joined our private Facebook group, ummmm….

WHY THE HELL NOT????

You’re missing out. It’s a super easy way to reach me and my alumni, and get personal feedback on your specific problems, FAST.

It’s a private group, and if you don’t want you friends and family to know you are a member, you can choose to hide it from you “friend list.”

But you don’t even need to, because the group is called:

“ACT Leaders”

So it doesn’t look like anything related to getting girls – it just looks like a positive leadership group (which it is).

And since it’s private, no one can go in there and see what we are talking about.

Go here and ask to JOIN:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1582123012016282/

Talk to you tomorrow,

-B

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Attractive Body Language

Presence

A good portion of my clients are shorter than average. It’s no secret that women prefer taller men, but this does not have to stop you. I’ve taught many guys to pick up women taller than them!

It all comes down to having a strong physical presence by adjusting your posture and body movement. There is a lot of advice out there about how to have confident body language, but most of it is vague, or simply wrong. Here’s what really works (and as always, this is field-tested by myself, and clients I’ve taught).

Most guys move through the world accommodating everyone else. They don’t own their space, and move faster than is truly comfortable for them. Another major problem I see when guys approach women is their lack of effective eye contact.

It’s rare to see a woman standing still, waiting for a man to approach her. At a bar or club, women stand in groups, flanked by friends, or blocked by the bar. During the day, women are either walking or sitting, making it difficult to walk right up to them.

The problem with this is that the ideal way to approach a woman is by having her see you and lock eyes with you before you speak. In this article, I’ll teach you how to get a woman’s total attention – you become her entire world – without saying a word.

There are four easy ways to make your presence felt, and get her to think, “Who is this guy???”

1. Lead with your lower body. This is something you see with very sexual guys do, as well as professional fighters (e.g. UFC/MMA guys). Use your pelvis as your guiding point. Most men lead with their chest, arms, shoulders, or head. Stand up straight, push your pelvis forward, spread your legs to shoulder length, and lead with your dick!
2. Stay unprotected by exposing your front. Imagine opening the entire front of your body, exposing your whole body to her. Keep your arms relaxed at your sides. If she wanted to punch you in the gut, or kick you in the balls, you’d be totally vulnerable. This shows incredible confidence.
3. Smile with your eyes. This may sound strange, but most guys either smile with their mouths, or simply look apprehensive. Try sending a warm, loving message from your eyes into hers, the same way your eyes would light up if you saw a cute puppy.
4. Move slow. As you approach her, take your time. You are in your own world, and you’re about to bring her in. This shows that you move on YOUR schedule, and you have no fear of rejection. Ironically, fear of rejection makes it more likely, whereas being comfortable with rejection makes it less likely. Do this by walking up to her as if you know she wants you to.

No matter your size or body type, you can turn a woman on without saying a word. Of course, at some point you’ll have to talk, but when you have a great physical presence, whatever you say will sound confident and cool.

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How to make a move without risking rejection

It was tough deciding whether to make this tip #1 or #2…

The reason why I picked this to be #2 is because it’s a technique with three steps, instead of just one (but it’s still super simple).

Once you make the big shift from trying to BE confident, to GIVING confidence to others…

The next step is to make your move in a way that she will NEVER reject.

I’ll show you how…

Not only will she not reject it, she will be excited that you made a move…

And will probably want to jump your bones as soon as you do!

Step 1:

As I mentioned in the last message, you’ll need to focus on asking questions that reveal her unique personality.

You’ll need to focus on asking questions that reveal her unique personality.

Here are some of my favorites:

  • “What are you most excited about in your life right now?”
  • “How would your best friend describe you?”
  • “What’s the hardest you’ve ever laughed?”
  • “What do you see yourself doing in 5 years?”
  • “What’s your favorite childhood memory?”

*Note: If she gives a short answer, simply follow up with, “Why” or “How come?”

Step 2:

You will APPRECIATE her response VERBALLY.

Examples:

  • “You seem very ___. I like that. I’m the same way. I (now relate to what she said).”
  • “Wow. I’m impressed. You’re definitely more than a pretty face.”
  • “That’s so funny/cool/interesting. I like talking to you. I feel comfortable.”

Step 3:

AS YOU SAY THIS, gently touch her with the palm-side of your hand on her forearm, or lightly cup her elbow, just for a second. You can also touch her on her back.

This sets the tone for getting physical, and immediately prevents you from EVER going into the friend zone…while making her see you as a potential romantic partner.

Now I have a FOOL-PROOF sequence you will use to touch her to lead up to your first kiss. But not just a boring, goodnight kiss. I mean a passionate, movie-moment kiss where she will want you to carry her to the bedroom and ravish her.

But before I give you that sequence I need to give you one more tip about eye contact. See, you can use eye contact to spark a woman’s curiosity about you and get her to really focus on you, no matter who else is around.

Combined with the other tips, this makes you UNSTOPPABLE with just about any woman you meet. It’s a super-simple trick that I will teach you in the next article (I’ll shoot you another email alert so you know where to find it once it’s up).

Also, as we move forward, I want you to notice how simple everything I teach you is. All my material is based on fundamentals.

I believe if you are confused about what to do with women you’ve probably been given some BAD information. In fact most dating advice for guys is either

  • -Too vague to be useful
  • -Over-complicated
  • -Completely unnecessary
  • -Or just flat out WRONG

I have a few more tips for you, to get you more action with women than you’ve ever had before…and probably more than you ever thought was possible for a single guy!

So stay tuned –

in the next email we’ll cover my eye contact trick you will use to lock a woman’s attention on you.

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How to Connect with women

I’m going to keep this article simple. It’s about asking personal questions to women, for a romantic intention. You see, most guys ask a series of boring-ass questions hoping that at some point, the women will just drop her panties and have sex. How many questions do you have to ask before this happens? Infinity.

Here’s how you really do it. You need to ask questions that get women talking about themselves. When she does this, you can escalate (by touching her or inviting her to hang out with you) as a reward. This timing, her effort-your reward, creates the perception that you are the sexual prize she is trying to win over. This is the dynamic you need to turn a woman on and keep control in your relationship.

Here’s a list of great questions to spice up your conversations and get women talking.

What would you do if?

What if you were on a desert island and could only have one book?

One movie?

One friend?

What would you do to occupy your mind until the day you died?

What’s your favorite?

What’s your favorite character trait?

What’s your favorite food to eat?

To eat?

What’s your favorite part of a man’s body?

What’s your favorite part of your body to be kissed and sucked?

What do you NOT want?

What turns you off when you meet a guy?

What makes you distrust people?

What do you dislike about yourself?

What would disappoint you most if you had a child?

What makes you smile and laugh?

What do you want to do for income, eventually?

What is your favorite funny TV show/movie?

What’s your favorite joke?

How do you remember to not take life too seriously?Which friend makes you laugh the most? Why?

What makes you angry and motivated?

What’s your biggest pet peeve?

What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?

Who do you hate the most?

Have you ever felt so angry that you had to prove yourself?

What drives you?

What’s your passion?

What world-crisis pisses you off enough to make you act?

Think about the common theme underlying all these questions. They are all designed to get someone thinking. The good news is that women love to talk about themselves, and explore how their minds work. When you can get a woman to look inside her mind and explore her own personality, she’ll love you. The reason for this? Women are culturally conditioned to think about everyone else more than themselves. So when you open her up to herself, she feels like she’s exploring a new universe. It’s because of you – your own curiosity.

The very act of exploring a woman mentally is just as erotic to her as exploring her body. The nature of a woman is to want to be wanted. So when you show your interests in her personality, her very nature as a woman gets “lit up.” If you’re a man, and she’s a woman, this “light up” in terms of her being attended to and explored, turns her on. In other words, she gets wet when you are curious about her. This is why your attention/curiosity is your strongest tool when it comes to meeting and attracting women.

Continue reading >>

How To Meet Girls In College

Meeting women in college

I would give anything to go back in time to my college days. I missed so many opportunities because I didn’t know then what I know now. But that’s life. I’m not regretful – my life only gets better as I grow older.

But looking back on college, I realize that was probably the easiest it will ever be to get laid. If you are in college, take full advantage. You are surrounded by opportunities, that you probably won’t recognize until after the fact. Let me help you out.

Class

Although it may seem obvious and cliche, using the commonalities you share with other students is the easiest, and thus the best way to connect with girls in college. This is what the “naturals” understand. You don’t have to be fancy or original. Just be social and friendly. Class is the reason everyone is in college, and it’s something you can use to meet girls.

In class, be friendly to everyone. Make friends with as many people as you can. Talk to the people next to you. Ask them how they did on their exam, or if they understood the homework. Crack a joke about the class or professor. Just get an interaction going. Gradually build friendships over time – don’t rush in and try to get a girl’s number in the first week of class. Take your time. If you make your move too early, things could get awkward. Wait until the middle of the semester, and keep your focus on making lots of friends rather than zeroing in on one girl.

Studying for a test is the easiest way to meet a girl outside of class. Usually, groups of students will meet at the library to study. Participate! It will never be this easy again. It’s a no-brainer to get some late-night pizza after a group study session, and invite a girl back to your dorm to chill and watch a movie.

Dorms

Which brings me to dorm life. For some guys, living in the dorms is one long orgy. The key is to not try to hit on girls, but to be social and have a good room to hang out in.

A good dorm room means:

A couch/futon/bed that people can kick back on. Also have some other chairs if you’re going to have a lot of people over at once.

Have a decent TV, and sound system, and make sure you have a big variety of music on your computer.

Although I don’t advocate underage drinking, having some drinks is always good, because let’s face – college kids like to drink. Just don’t get too crazy, and make sure your RA doesn’t catch you.

Also have some wall decorations, and mellow lighting – Christmas lights are cool – green or yellow make a nice cozy glow for the room.

Think cozy, comfortable, and equipped. Leave your door wide open, play music, and invite people to come by. Then just kick back and be friendly to everyone! Girls who like you will stay behind after everyone leaves, and then it’s just a matter of sitting next to her and going for the kiss.

Parties

I really blew it in college. I went to so many parties where all I had to do was talk to girls in a nice, relaxed way, and I could’ve easily hooked up. The key is to initiate conversation without being too forward or creepy. Don’t use lines. Just say, “Hey. What’s your name?” And that’s it. Ask her what she’s studying.

Don’t be that guy in the corner getting wasted. Say Hi, and introduce yourself to people (guys too!). Once you are talking to a girl at a party, there will be a point where you should try to get her alone – in a bedroom or maybe somewhere outside. Take her by the hand and go for the kiss. College girls are already horny-out-of-their-minds. Add a little alcohol, and a cool, relaxed guy with the balls to approach, and she is READY TO GO.

I am running a discount on my comprehensive rundown of how to create a sexual spark with girls you just met, or have known for awhile… it’s called The Sexual Spark. The discount is only running for a few days.

Click here to learn more about it and take advantage of the crazy discount

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Sexual Questions to Ask a Girl

Get personal

I’m going to keep this article simple. It’s about asking personal questions to women, for a romantic intention. You see, most guys ask a series of boring-ass questions hoping that at some point, the women will just drop her panties and have sex. How many questions do you have to ask before this happens? Infinity.

Here’s how you really do it. You need to ask questions that get women talking about themselves. When she does this, you can escalate (by touching her or inviting her to hang out with you) as a reward. This timing, her effort-your reward, creates the perception that you are the sexual prize she is trying to win over. This is the dynamic you need to turn a woman on and keep control in your relationship.

Here’s a list of great questions to spice up your conversations and get women talking.

 

What would you do if?

   * What if you were on a desert island and could only have one book?
   * One movie?
   * One friend?
  * What would you do to occupy your mind until the day you died?

What’s your favorite?

   * What’s your favorite character trait?
   * What’s your favorite food to eat?
   * To eat?
   * What’s your favorite part of a man’s body?
   * What’s your favorite part of your body to be kissed and sucked?

What do you NOT want?

   * What turns you off when you meet a guy?
   * What makes you distrust people?
   * What do you dislike about yourself?
   * What would disappoint you most

I am running a discount on my comprehensive rundown of how to create a sexual spark with girls you just met, or have known for awhile… it’s called The Sexual Spark. The discount is only running for a few days.

Click here to learn more about it and take advantage of the crazy discount

if you had a child?

What makes you smile and laugh?

   * What do you want to do for income, eventually?
   * What is your favorite funny TV show/movie?
   * What’s your favorite joke?
   * How do you remember to not take life too seriously?
Which friend makes you laugh the most? Why?

What makes you angry and motivated?

   * What’s your biggest pet peeve?
   * What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?
   * Who do you hate the most?
   * Have you ever felt so angry that you had to prove yourself?
   * What drives you?
   * What’s your passion?
   * What world-crisis pisses you off enough to make you act?

Think about the common theme underlying all these questions. They are all designed to get someone thinking. The good news is that women love to talk about themselves, and explore how their minds work. When you can get a woman to look inside her mind and explore her own personality, she’ll love you. The reason for this? Women are culturally conditioned to think about everyone else more than themselves. So when you open her up to herself, she feels like she’s exploring a new universe. It’s because of you – your own curiosity.

The very act of exploring a woman mentally is just as erotic to her as exploring her body. The nature of a woman is to want to be wanted. Here’s some killer tips on how to do this. So when you show your interests in her personality, her very nature as a woman gets “lit up.” If you’re a man, and she’s a woman, this “light up” in terms of her being attended to and explored, turns her on. In other words, she gets wet when you are curious about her. This is why your attention/curiosity is your strongest tool when it comes to meeting and attracting women.

Now, to get REALLY sexual, you have to have the right balance of playfulness, and a sincere interest to learn about her. Here are some examples of sexual questions I’ve asked women:

Feel free to copy, but I urge you to think of your own.

Testing the waters:

  • I impulsively got a book on massage but I haven’t been able to practice on anyone. 
  • How are your massage skills? What’s your favorite body part to be massaged? 
  • So you know how guys are butt guy tits guy etc. Girls have the same thing…what kind of girl are you? Like what’s your favorite part of a man’s body?
  • I was watching that spike lee movie where he puts the icecubes on Rosie Perez’s nipples. I want to try it so bad. I love a woman’s nipples. Have you ever done that?
  • What do guys usually say when they want to hook up with you? Like if they want to go home with you? I’m just curious because I heard a good one. 
  • Is “watch a movie” code for come over and have sex? Have guys ever said that to you and that’s what they wanted?
  • You know what’s weird – I never get nervous about approaching girls or calling or meeting up for a date. But it’s that first kiss. It’s because I want it to be good. I’ve had some really clumsy ones. 
  • Are you the type to hold a guys hand during sex, or scratch his back?
  • I like your nails. How are your back scratching skills?
  • What’s your opinion on a guy getting hard while dancing with you?
  • The following are more risque. You really need to have attitude I spoke about earlier DOWN, and have a very commanding presence, zero approval seeking. Also be ready for some women to be offended. Usually if you are in a conversation and they think it’s too risque to talk about that early, just say “Sorry I just speak my mind too much sometimes. I mean hey we’re all adults.”

 

Ballsy

  • My roommate told me he was turned on when he heard me having sex the other day. It kinda weirded me out. Have you ever heard your roommate having sex? How did you feel? Has she heard you? Who has better sex?
  • I’m sorry but you have the most beautiful DSL’s I’ve ever seen. Does that offend you?
  • So since you’re a woman, I want your advice. I’ve been thinking about something. The other day:
  • I was getting head from a woman I had been seeing. I pulled it out of her mouth and slapped her a couple times on her cheek. She seemed to take it like a was being mean – she laughed and kept going but she didn’t seem to realize that I did it because I was turned on and it felt good. Am I totally weird for that?
  • I was having sex with this girl, and she told me to slap her. And I did and it turned me on and her too, but I sensed she wanted me to really nail her and I think she maybe didn’t realize how strong a guy is if he really hits. But then again I have no problem being rough. Have you ever gotten that rough?
  • This girl I used to date – she lives in another state now – asked me to send her a dick pic. I was always under the impression that wasn’t the kind of thing a girl likes. Is this more common than I thought?

 

You can see my theme here. I’m basically trying to see how open she is to talking about kinky stuff. You can come up with all kinds of questions, and as you have more sexual partners you’ll have plenty of fun questions to ask.

 

One important element here is that you are conveying that you are sleeping with other women. This is a GOOD thing as long as you don’t come off sleazy. Also, women may try to test – BAIT you really – by saying you’re a player, or acting like you shouldn’t be talking to her if you are sleeping with other women. Neither of these make any sense and you can simply respond by telling her that you are a sexual person, just like she is.

 

Should you be celibate while you are single? The only real risk here is intimidating a girl who is not very sexually experienced or confident. If you sense this, just drop it.

 

  • OK the best question ever – your favorite sexual position? Hey I may need to know this (she’ll likely say hmm “we’ll see about that” or “that’s what you think.” Again, she has to say that to maintain her social reputation, and your perception of her value.
  • So i just discovered something about myself. Me and my boys were talking about women’s bodies and what shapes we liked, and it dawned on me. I’ve always been preferential to ass. But as I’ve gotten older, I realize I’m a details guy. Like where a woman’s earlobes meet her jaw, behind her knees, her ankles…all the hidden spots. I notice all that stuff. I’m totally looking at you now picking out all your spots. Where do you like to be kissed besides your lips?
  • Have you ever had angry sex? I don’t get it. 
  • I was reading this book called my secret garden – it’s all about women’s fantasies. They are really creative I thought it was so cool. I had no idea women were so wild. I think my fantasies are kinda timid. I have this thing where my woman is cooking my breakfast and I just bend her over and pound her, and then when I’m done she goes back to making me breakfast. Is that weird? What’s yours?
  • If a guy you were dating asked you to, would you cook for him naked, wearing only heels? Only I think we need to see each other again.

Basically I’m just asking fun, interesting, slightly kinky questions about sex, but making sure I go first so she feels safe. Again I have a playful relaxed, sex-is-healthy-and-fun, vibe

Explore and ENJOY women! It starts with asking good personal and sexual questions.

I am running a discount on my comprehensive rundown of how to create a sexual spark with girls you just met, or have known for awhile… it’s called The Sexual Spark. The discount is only running for a few days.

Click here to learn more about it and take advantage of the crazy discount

Continue reading >>

How To Make A Girl Come

For a guy, having an orgasm is pretty easy, but most guys don’t know how to make a girl come because they only focus on her body, not her mind.

In this article I’ll explain how to make a girl come by touching her mind and body.

How to make a girl come: relaxation

Once you get a girl alone and things start heating up, focus on helping her relax first. Most girls are very nervous at first. They are worried about being pretty enough, whether they are doing it right (kissing, touching, etc).

A girl will also be worried about you thinking less of her if she has sex with you too fast, even though she wants to.

How to make a girl come

although not recommended, here’s what Cosmo has to say

There are a two parts to helping a girl relax.

Relaxation is all about feeling safe; when a girl feels safe, she’ll relax. (To understand safety on a deeper level, see my article “Control, part 2: Safety.”). The two parts of safety are physical and emotional.

A girl must feel physically safe with you. This means you can’t rush her or put pressure on her. You can’t touch her in a way that makes her uncomfortable. At first, I focus on touching a woman as a means of guiding and protecting her.

I don’t ever “cop a feel.”

Instead I put my hand on her lower back and guide her to where we are going. I pull her close to help her avoid getting bumped by passersby.

When we are alone, I hold her in a way that conveys I care about her and want her to feel safe. I also ask girls, “Are you OK?” or “Are you comfortable?” or “Do you need anything?”

A girl must also feel emotionally safe. She must feel like you actually like her for who she is as a person, so that she can be herself around you. Think of a time when you felt you had to walk on eggshells around someone. It’s uncomfortable. We feel good when we feel that others like us for who we really are, that we get approval when we show our authentic, flawed personalities. When a girl feels good about herself around you, she can relax. When she relaxes, her natural sexuality emerges.

Feeling confident leads to feeling sexy when you’re with the opposite sex.

When I began learning how to make a girl come consistently, I quickly realized how important relaxation is to the process.

How to make a girl come: arousal

It may seem obvious, but if you want to know how to make a girl come, you need to know how to turn a girl on. I do this the same way I relax a woman – with my body and my words.

Turning a girl on begins with how you look at her. Girls always tell me that I look at them in a way that makes them nervous but turned on at the same time. They say I have a certain way of looking at them that’s different from other guys. What I’m doing is simply looking at them with a warm, sexual appreciation. I look at women with loving sexual desire, they way you’d look at your girlfriend if she dressed in lingerie to surprise you.

The next step is how to talk to a woman. What I say with my mouth is the same as what I say with my eyes and hands. I tell her how sexy I think she is, how much she turns me on, how much I like her for who she is. I’ll tell a girl she is sexy, beautiful, interesting, exciting, etc. I’ll tell a girl that I’m getting turned on, that I’m hard for her, that I can’t keep my eyes off her, and that I want to put my hands all over her. Engaging a woman’s mind and making her feel desired is crucial if you want to know how to make a girl come.

Lastly, I am very sensual. I make a girl horny by touching her. I glide my finger tips up and down her curves. I kiss her jawline, neckline, behind her ears, her clavicle, down the middle of her back. I squeeze her ass and work my way down the back of her legs to her ankles, then work my way back up the inside of her legs and tease her pussy by lingering and moving up to her tummy. I hold, rub, squeeze, caress, lick, nibble, smell and kiss her lips passionately, like I’ll never kiss another girl. I’m showing her how much I desire her. When a girl feels relaxed and desired,  there’s simply one more piece missing….

How to make a girl come: control

The biggest challenge guys face to knowing how to make a girl come is understanding the concept of control.

It’s commonly called “dominance,” but this can be a confusing term because it implies status, aggression, and brute force.

It’s more practical to focus on control, which is the outcome of dominance. But you don’t need to be a bully or act macho to gain control. Calmly controlling a woman’s body as if it’s totally normal and simply the way you operate is a huge turn on, and avoids the resistance you’d get by using force or acting cocky.

In bed, I will hold a girl in place, lift her and move her, direct her legs, turn her over, pull her towards me, etc. I’m in control of her body. She doesn’t resist because I move slow, and I’m constantly messaging a loving sexual desire. (Learn more about Messaging here.)

When a woman feels out of control, yet relaxed, she is able to come. The way for a woman to orgasm is to relax and surrender. I go in-depth about a woman’s process of surrendering to a man in Sex and Surrender, but suffice to say that a woman’s sexual nature is to surrender to a powerful man. A girl can also experience great pleasure and orgasm by being in control, but that is because it is such a thrill for her to affect a powerful man and be in control of his body. It is the exception that proves the rule.

If you want to know how to make a girl come you must learn how to take control of a her body in a way that relaxes her, arouses her, and lets her surrender to you.

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How To Turn A Girl On

how to turn a girl on

If you know how to turn a girl on, you can sleep with her, and make her your girlfriend if you want. It doesn’t matter how hot she is. Most women have the same emotional and physical needs. When you indicate that you can satisfy those needs to a woman, she will want to spend time with you and be intimate with you.

I am running a discount on my comprehensive rundown of how to create a sexual spark with girls you just met, or have known for awhile… it’s called The Sexual Spark. The discount is only running for a few days.

Click here to learn more about it and take advantage of the crazy discount

So what do women want from men? Fundamentally, a woman wants to feel desired by a man. Other factors like financial success, good looks, and a sense of humor can help, but only if there is a foundation of sexual chemistry first.

Some men know how to create sexual chemistry consistently with women, but they usually do it intuitively and can’t articulate exactly what the process is (or they just don’t want to share).

 

If you don’t know how to turn a girl on, nothing you have or do will make a difference. She won’t sleep with you.

 

If you constantly get “friend zoned” by girls, while they choose other guys, then you don’t know how to turn a girl on. Because of this, your conversations with beautiful women will feel boring and dry.

 

Most guys get nervous around beautiful women. This is normal. But if you get so nervous that you can’t think clearly, or make a move when the time is right, you will end up losing the girl to another guy. I guarantee there have been MANY women who would have slept with you, but you missed out because you never made a move.

 

In fact, I’d venture to say that most men COULD have tens times as many women than they do.

I am running a discount on my comprehensive rundown of how to create a sexual spark with girls you just met, or have known for awhile… it’s called The Sexual Spark. The discount is only running for a few days.

Click here to learn more about it and take advantage of the crazy discount

 

Girls know how to turn guys on, but most guys don’t know to turn a girl on. Guys will pretend to be confident, try to be funny, brag, or be “smooth” in the hoping to turn a girl on. As men, we intuitively know that it’s your personality, your mind, that attracts or repels a woman. But a woman can tell if you are trying to impress her, or you are faking your personality to appear smarter/cooler/funnier than you actually are.

 

This is how most men try to turn girls on, but ironically, this is the WORST thing you can do, because it tells her that you are BAD IN BED. Female sexuality is totally misunderstood. Women are surprisingly simple (and horny). The reason why most guys don’t know how to turn a girl on is because they don’t understand women.

 

The first order of business to learning how to turn a girl on is to fix your beliefs about women. Think about what you want to do to a beautiful woman. You want to touch her, fuck her, watch and feel her suck your dick. That’s GOOD. She wants to do that stuff too. You must believe this. Read Nancy Friday’s “My Secret Garden” and “The Hite Report,” to internalize women’s inherent sexuality. You’ll be absolutely shocked. Society and girls themselves do just about everything in their power to hide it – but women are absolutely crazy about sex.

 

If you feel like you are getting over on a woman by sleeping with her, you will struggle and fail hard. By trying to get sex from her, by undermining her innate sexuality, and instead using game you are telling her that you are in the frame of women=possessions, and thus her value diminishes if she fucks youYou must feel like you are giving them a good experience. You must be proud of your dick. women like your body – your hands, your mouth, and especially your dick. If you think you are sneaking a dirty part of your body into women, you must change this by reminding yourself that women love dick, and that part of YOU, is designed to pleasure HER.

 

What helps men and women get together is right by nature. Nature is life supporting. When you do things that lead to you getting with women, you are aligned with nature. Unfortunately, game often prevents or slows down the sexual process. When you drop game, and do what comes natural, while OWNING it, you will turn girls on.

If you get your body, style, and hair and facial hair style together, you will be good-looking enough. Once you do, simply wanting a girl makes you valuable to her. She wants to get fucked. Women want men to desire them. Your desire IS your value.

 

Your desire is your value, once you handle the basics of grooming and fashion, decent fitness, a job, goals, and a stable living situation.

 

Women can sense a man’s sexual power INSTANTLY. It’s been proven scientifically that women subconsciously decide if they would sleep with a man within seconds of meeting him. If it’s a “no” then it’s very hard to turn that into a “yes.” So either you turn her on FAST, or you won’t sleep with her…EVER.

 

As you probably know, guys who have a “natural way” with women aren’t always the smartest, wealthiest, or best-looking…they just know something other guys don’t.

 

I struggled with women up until my mid-20’s. But several friends of mine got awesome results. And they were not good looking guys, but reasonably cool and fun guys. They would hook up with women they just met without dates or spending money, or trying very hard.

 

I decided to fix my problem, using seduction techniques, and i met a lot of women, trying a lot of weird techniques.

 

On dates, I tried to spend little money, as I was broke, and didn’t actually want to date. I wanted sex. I managed to get a fuckbuddy that helped me increase my sexual confidence,

 

And i started noticing that my escalation was happening faster, showing me that this was something I could learn. I started reading a lot of books on female psychology, and started realizing that women like sex too.

I noticed that the more money I spent, the less likely a woman was to sleep with me. The faster I got a woman to my place, the faster we’d have sex. Often women would say they were “being good” and weren’t going to sleep with me.

 

I would just keep talking and touching, going in for the kiss, escalating as far as the woman would let me.

 

I found that it wasn’t women who were afraid of sex, it was me. Often I would realize after the fact that I could have made a move, that she was open, probably horny, and it was my fear of doing the wrong thing or coming off creepy that was holding me back, on top of my lack of sexual confidence from real experience, which was changing with the couple FBs i had

I also realized that it was being sweet, chivalrous – paying for shit basically, being a gentleman and not being sexual out of “respect.” On dates, women would be more hesitant to come over, and not call back afterwards.

 

This started a journey that is too long and complex to go into, but over the past 8 years I’ve been moving more away from courtship and more towards friendship which may sound weird bc of the friendzone, but i am friends with women and fuck them and it works out very well – the sex is better, we are more open and honest outside the bedroom, and i feel a real connection, not another conquest. Of course i’m not monogamous and they know this -sometimes they get mad, but quickly get over it because they miss the sex, the bond, and having a strong, smart, sexy man they can be themselves with, and it’s appreciated and encouraged.

 

Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

 

A woman will have sex with you if she thinks she will enjoy it, not because you are handsome, funny, or rich. As you are turned on by a woman’s body, she is turned on by your mind. How a man thinks determines his success, quality of life, and how he makes others feel. Your ability to satisfy a woman in bed depends not on your size, stamina, or technique, but how you express your thoughts about her. Women intuit this from the moment they meet you.

 

Making a woman horny is not a random, complicated, or mysterious process. It’s not a process at all. Women are already horny, just as you are already horny. You don’t walk around with a hard-on all day, but you have a baseline sexual desire, naturally inherent to you, and all healthy humans, including women.

 

There is a general misconception that women are less sexual and horny than men. Many men accept this idea, despite a mountain of evidence supporting it’s antithesis. Sadly, the study of female sexuality is still in its infancy. But over it’s short life-span, serious inquiry into female sexuality has overturned many paradigms, assumed and accepted without any academic rigor critical analysis supporting them.

 

Here are some myths about female sexuality (with links to articles disproving them):

Women don’t want sex as much as men.

 

Women don’t like casual sex. 

 

Women take longer to become sexually aroused. 

 

Women have sex in return for commitment and resources (instead of pure pleasure).

 

The fundamental problem is miscommunication and misunderstanding, stemming from Confirmation Bias, Conservatism Bias and Social Desirability Bias. Conventional wisdom AND science have both failed women, and in doing so, failed men, who remain in the dark and thus sexually frustrated

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Several factors create the illusion of the asexual female:

 

1. A woman’s value as a human being is determined by how few sexual partners she has had. If she is judged as promiscuous, or “easy” (as if she is weak foe in a battle), she loses social value. So even though she is horny, she must hide this from society, from any man she likes, and from herself, by detaching from her sexuality, and repressing sexual thoughts as they only serve to frustrate her in a world that punishes female desire. She feels horny, but must hide it.

 

2. All women have experienced sexual trauma. It’s common for a woman to have been molested, raped, or nearly raped at least once in her life. I don’t know one woman without a disturbing experience. In general, women are leered at, here vulgar comments from strange men, and groped. Every woman has felt pressure to have sex before she is ready, by a guy she thought liked and cared about her. In high school, and even college, if a woman has sex with a guy, he will brag (or word will somehow get out) and she will gain a reputation as a slut, as easy, as dirty…for doing something she is wired to do, that felt good, and was a way to feel closer to a guy she liked and thought liked her. You may not have known about these COMMON female experiences, but you can understand why women are bit apprehensive about getting alone with a guy they just met, and tend to put the breaks on throughout the sexual process.

 

3. As the gender investing more in reproduction, women see sex more like an investment. The risk is getting impregnated by a man who will disappear after he gets what he wants. The baby grows inside her body, not yours. That’s a big deal, but it also illustrates how horny women are. They still have sex despite the risk. I wonder if men would be a little more cautious about jumping in bed with a woman if there was a 50% chance of the man getting pregnant.

 

4. Most men are BAD in bed, according to what I’ve been told by every woman I’ve asked (a lot). This is because men don’t understand what turns a woman on. It’s not what you see in porn. Do women like to be fucked, pounded, spanked, choked, and slapped? Yes to all, but only if done in the right way, and only in conjunction with other aspects of sex, which I will explain. If you’ve never had sushi, and someone offers to buy you a sushi dinner, you won’t be that excited, even if though the meal is free. But once you have sushi, and you like it, sushi becomes more tempting. In her mind, the odds that sex with you will be worth the time, logistical complications are not great.

This is what you are facing when you meet a new woman you want to sleep with. Combine her sexual cynicism with the first 3 factors, and you have a situation requiring YOU to communicate that she will LOVE getting fucked by you.

 

Women want sex just as much, if not more, than men. But they have a dimension of anxiety in their sexuality that men don’t have. This anxiety is perceived as disinterest, so men use tricks (seduction), bartering (paying for dates), and even force (rape, or emotional manipulation) to GET sex FROM her body, in SPITE of her mind. Ironically, they are waging battle against a foe – her disinterest or disliking of sex – that doesn’t exist. In doing so, they ignore the ambiguity of fear and desire women feel about sleeping with a new man.

 

So a more useful articulation of our goal is to say “how to turn a girl on TO YOU,”  and magnifying her arousal that it outweighs her fear. I will give you a general strategy for directing a woman’s innate sexuality towards you, and then give you 3 simple yet powerful tactics to trigger dripping wet lust in the next woman you meet, and a bonus tactic to blow her mind in bed.

 

It all begins with your desire. Your desire is the key to triggering her desire. But you must convey your desire in a way she understands, while at the same time, not violating too many social conventions. I don’t teach my students to be smooth, because trying to be smooth is like trying to be funny – it ensures you WILL NOT be funny or smooth.

 

However, when you understand female sexuality, and can communicate your desire for her in subtle ways that resonate with the female mind, you WILL be very charming, confident, and smooth.

 

For 8 years as a professional dating coach for men, I’ve personally mentored hundreds of men to do the same. Hundreds of men are using my system to live their dream sex life…RIGHT NOW.

 

If you are reading this, you want to be a better man, and enjoy all that life has to offer. You deserve that. And that’s why I want to help you.

 

I just finished a 90 minute, 3-part Video program called The Sexual Spark.

 

This 3 Part Video Series is based off of female psychology, scientific studies, interviews with women, and his own (incredibly successful) experience.

 

It is based off of my groundbreaking ACT system.

 

Which stands for:

 

1. Awareness

2. Control

3. Thrust

 

These may sound like strange words in the context of meeting and sleeping with women, but they are the three PILLARS of dating success. To learn how to turn a girl on and create a Sexual Spark using simple conversation, anytime anywhere, check it out here:

Spark

I am running a discount on my comprehensive rundown of how to create a sexual spark with girls you just met, or have known for awhile… it’s called The Sexual Spark. The discount is only running for a few days.

Click here to learn more about it and take advantage of the crazy discount

Look around this site. For a hilarious and ridiculous, pitiful guide, go here

 

 

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Tips To Pick Up Women

As a professional dating coach for men, I’m sometimes referred to as a pick up artist. I thought of myself this way for a long time when I got started learning how to be good with women.

I don’t think this accurately depicts who I am or what I do now. In my personal life, I’m simply a man who loves women, and understands them much better than the typical guy.

Professionally, I’m a dating coach for men. I teach men how to be successful meeting women and living the kind of lifestyle they want. I also teach guys how to be good in bed, how to have great dates, and how to connect with women on a very deep level.

But a lot of guys who are just learning how to be good with women are starting like I started – as pick up artists. So I thought I’d write up a little article of some of my favorite pickup artist tips. These are tips to get you started – techniques you can use to get success right away and start yourself on a positive feedback loop of success.

Tips to pick up women

1. One of the hardest things for guys to do is approach women. Even the toughest guy gets scared when he wants to talk to attractive women. The problem is that he is worried about how to impress women, instead of how to help them impress him! This is a powerful shift in thinking. So when you approach women, you should not be thinking about what to say to make her laugh or make her like you.

Instead, tell her something YOU like about HER. And make it specific. Don’t just say, “You’re hot.” Say, “I like your hair! It’s different, but looks great on you.” Or, “I love how you move when you dance. I can’t stop looking at you.” Giving a woman a specific compliment on her beauty is my favorite way to start a conversation, and it’s very effective if done with a warm energy and focused eye contact.

2. Once a guy is past the approach, the next step is conversation. As the man, you will have to carry the conversation at first, because women don’t usually know what to say or do when they are approached. They just become passive and try to keep up if they like you. You’re goal is to change this by giving her the confidence to express herself freely. This is another shift in thinking because conventional wisdom says that as the man it’s your job to be confident.

Think about it – what do confident people do? They try to build up those around them. This is your focus when talking to a woman. Instead of bragging, be self-deprecating. Instead of trying to be funny, poke fun at her for her cute quirks. Instead of thinking about how to get sexual, focus on making her feel comfortable with you. This will allow her natural sexuality to emerge, because she feels safe expressing that side of herself to you.

3. When you take a girl back to your place (or hers), go slow, but don’t hesitate. This is a subtle balance, between rushing and waiting. A woman can tell when you are rushing and desperate for sex, but she can also tell when you are too scared to make a move. Women also like it when a guy takes his time and savors the moments leading up to sex. I’ve noticed that if I move and talk slow, but still make my move, I rarely get resistance.

Guys are always worried about how to get a girl to have sex. The way I see it, if she’s comfortable, and turned-on, she will WANT to have sex. Going slow without being timid achieves this. Once you are finally naked together, make sure you last at least 15 minutes and give her a good variety of experience – go hard and deep, fast and shallow, slow it down, and speed it up. If you just do what you feel, she’ll feel YOU, and that’s what a woman wants – to feel a man fully.

More tips to pick up women – specific techniques to use when approaching women

4. If you see a woman pass on the street, let her pass, then turn around and catch up to her. Flank around her and approach from her 10 o’clock or 2 o’clock position. Look into her eyes, slow to a stop, forcing her to stop, and tell her how beautiful you think she is. Ask her name, and go from there.

If you want to approach a a woman in a grocery store, try this one: “Wow, a beautiful woman who cooks! I like you already.” In a retail store, get her opinion on something you are thinking about buying. When she tells you, say “Hmm a cute girl with good taste. What’s your name?”

If you want to pick up a woman in a bar talking with her friends, go up and say, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I gotta say you look great. I noticed you right away and had to come over. I’m (your name).”

If you want to approach a girl at a party, keep it light and casual. Tell her you like her outfit, and then ask her if she knows the host.

If you want to start a conversation with a girl in a coffee shop, ask her if she is working on school stuff or work stuff. Most people in coffee shops go there to get some caffeine and focus on something. Just ask what they are up to, and then talk about yourself before you ask another question. This prevents you from looking nosey, and is an easy way to get an interesting conversation going.

5. My last pick up artist tip is about how to get a girl’s number. The easiest way to do this is to simply have a good conversation and tell her you want to see her again. Then say, “What’s your number? I’ll call your phone so you have mine too.” This is my standard. But sometimes you need to get a girl’s number fast, like when you meet her on the street. In this case, say “Hey we both gotta be on our way. You are cute and seem cool. How about we exchange numbers and see what happens.” This usually works for me, but to be honest, if you haven’t made any sort of connection, a woman probably won’t give her number out. You should still try though.

I hope these tips to pick up women lead to you living your ideal sex life.

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How To Be More Dominant

Bad 11We all learn about status and dominance by dealing with other kids in school. For girls, it’s passive-aggressive terrorism. For boys, it’s head-on bullying.

In grade school, physical genetics win. Who gets picked for teams at recess determines who is “liked” and respected in class, and after school.

But after grade school, things change.

A new dynamic applies. Being ambitious, and social takes precedence over physique.

Women are drawn to the man in charge. But if you focus on being that guy, you won’t be. It sounds confusing at first, but makes perfect sense.

Let’s start by substituting substitute “dominance” with the word “leadership,” Focusing on leadership will accelerate your learning process and that’s the whole point of LEAD7 – to speed things up and save your time.

Inner experience

From the inside looking out, a leader is focused on resolving conflict, first within himself. But that’s the longest, hardest struggle – to change yourself from within.

The FASTEST way to solve conflict is by getting help from others. Nothing is accomplished alone, and leaders know this.

The way to get help is to first give help. Instead of trying to fix yourself from the inside, look where you can help others, and then take action.

Sitting at home reading books only fuels the idea that you have a problem, thus fueling the problem itself.

All problems exist only in the mind. It is mind’s, perceiving illusory separation, thus conflict, that start war, perpetuate poverty, fuel hatred, racism, oppression, violence. Inner conflict creates depression, insecurity, fear, and anger.

When you ACT (ACT Leadership is the foundation of what I teach), you are DOING love. By doing courage, you inspired others, and bring bring us all closer to freedom.

Helping vs. Competing

The best way to achieve your vision is to attract help by first offering help.

That’s what dominance really means, and why I don’t ever say “dominance.” If you are the guy worrying about who’s the “alpha male” or who is more dominant, you are NOT either. You are just another beta monkey fighting other beta monkeys.

Focus on leading others, by helping them see themselves as the Ones they want to be. This means you need vision, like a psychological x-ray vision…we are born with it, then we lose it…gain it back.

Vision

Connecting with women means leading women into intimacy. It might mean leading women into an open, polygamous sexual relationships.

Or it might mean finding that special woman and connecting to her deepest dreams and desires, so she will never let you go.

If you want to master this process, I explain everything, from top to bottom, in Sexual Supremacy.
External Cues vs. Internal Processes

Smiling can be DOMINANT, or SUBMISSIVE. The difference is the “why” behind the smile.

When you look happy, people see you as in control of your life. When you are depressed, it looks like life is controlling you.

When you laugh at someone’s joke, even though it wasn’t funny, are you worried about their approval, or are you trying to make them feel confident?

Intention

When I tell people I’m a dating coach for men, they always ask me for a piece of advice – what would I tell “guys” or what is it that I teach, in a nutshell. My response is, “don’t try to look confident. Instead, focus on giving confidence to those around you, men and women. Tell women they are beautiful without wanting anything back, without hoping for an outcome.”

This is leadership. You can start tomorrow, simply by focusing on what you like about other people. Some of them may shrug it off, or look at you weird.

If you feel an emotional reaction, that means your intention was impure – you weren’t doing it for the right reason: to give. You were trying to take.

Becoming aware of this process within yourself is the first, but biggest step, in becoming a leader. It starts with you – are you showing the universe who you are – your best self?

or are you hiding and manipulating, to get an outcome you don’t feel you truly deserve?

If you are not sure, take 5 minutes everyday, for a week, to just watch your thoughts, and write down what  you mostly think of.

Is it comprised of arguing/fighting fantasies? are you imagining “how to win”? Maybe you regret past failure, or worry about future dilemmas?

A New Paradigm For Connecting With Women

If you are concerned about what a female thinks of you, you are basically asking a person with a vagina what you, a man, should do.

It’s a ridiculous idea if you think about it. Would you ask an auto-mechanic how diversify your portfolio? Would you ask the grocery clerk how to design your website?

Only YOU can decide what is the right action. Substitute “right” with “your.” What is YOUR action?

How will you help others?

How will you ENJOY being YOU?

Once you have a Vision for yourself, and thus a positive motive for meeting others, connecting with women will be as easy as making breakfast, driving yourself to work in the morning, or talking to a friend at the end of the day.

It can be easy, as easy as you can make it.

It’s up to you. Women are out there – a lot of them…a lot of beautiful, caring, passionate, interesting, fun women.

Enjoy them! Meeting women should be fun, not a strategic war to get in her pants.

Forget the silly nice guy vs. jerk debate, and stop worrying about who is “alpha.” Forget the unnecessary pickup artist seduction games.

Connect with women through leadership.

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